The unpacking conundrum

It’s been 2 years and 20 days since we've moved to the big bad city. The big has gotten slightly smaller and the bad has gotten slightly better though. However, my one big concern remains. I still haven’t unpacked all my boxes. Why haven’t I unpacked my boxes? Well, apart from the fact that I am essentially the laziest person alive on earth when it comes to household chores, there is also that weird fear of packaged boxes. A somewhat odd feeling tells me that one does not simply open boxes after 6 months (of unopening) has passed. You need adult supervision (or super-hero-vision) at this point of time when you decide to finally unbox. What if you open up to find a gazillion mini spiders mutated (with superpowers of course), crawling through every inch of that box? And just by opening that box you have now subjected the world to the horror that is mutated stingraypowered mini spiders! You might as well dig yourself a giant hole at this point in time, crawl into it and die. Speaking of giant holes, your un-opened box could have also morphed into a compressed environment of multiple levels of bad energy and condensed claustrophobia making it the perfect portal of doom. A giant mega-hole which (on unboxing) will suck everything in its path like a black hole-ish- death-star and won’t stop until it has swallowed the earth. The other possibility is that everything inside that box is now alive. Something was born in it, something evolved in it, something evolved into a scarier something in it, and now 'the force is stronger than ever'. And it is waiting silently, in that dark swamped (probably moist) box, and when the time comes… well you know where this is going. 

So yeah, I pretty much have a couple of very logical reasons for why I haven’t unpacked yet. A standard expiry date of box opening has to be taken into consideration here, and at the same time I keep telling myself, that if I haven’t required any of those things in those boxes that I packed – I pretty much don’t need them ever. Let’s face it, if you don’t feel the need to take something out of a box for two years, you’ll probably never fucking need it ever. So now the question comes. What do I do with these boxes of doom? Burn. Beat. Repeat? Strategically place them across different crowded places in the city and wait for apocalypse or… just call my mom?! At this point I Googled “magic 8 ball, should I call mom?” and the answer was – “Outlook not so good”. Which is pretty bang on! In retrospect, my mom would beat the shit outta me if she found out I was sitting pretty on 6 unopened boxes for the last 2 years. So that’s a clear No. Also, I am pretty sure one of those boxes has some horrid wedding gifts that I pretty much never want to see in my life. Deviating slightly from topic, which I obviously never do, quick head count of how many different types of hideous flower vases you can get on your wedding day? Apparently, quite-a-fucking-lot!

Anyway, so coming back to the unpacking conundrum at hand. The amount of time I have spent in writing this inane post and venting my frustration about unopened boxes lying in my store room could have been better utilized in either opening them or destroying them, neither of which I have done. Thank you very much. But, at least I realize that I may have a problem. And like most pretentious wise people sayings go- admitting you have a problem solves 50% of the problem. So now, I am doing exactly what most people who are about to have a panic attack do. Search Online. This weekend, I have vouched to at least try and get rid of some of these boxes and to do that I need some weapons of course. By weapons I mean Dettol, thick brooms, dusters and a hazmat suit obviously. 

And I leave you with my favourite quote of the day: “My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint”.

Boys with Toys!

Obviously women are multitaskers. We can do all sorts of crazy things all at the same time, while giving appropriate levels of deserving attention to each activity. When the same comes to men, well... I don't need to say much.

We were born to compete. Just look at the things we have to compete with to get our mans' attention. Generally when men have nothing fun to do they'd cuddle up next to you when you are reading a very interesting book or doing some very important work and be as attentive as possible. However, just try to get your man's attention when a crucial match is on -- and if you are actually able to do this (please call me) I'd say you have mastered the ultimate art of seduction OR you have a major leash on my girlfriend!

Boys with their stupid toys - what can I say?! PSPs, damn you laptops, ipod/pads and what not. The getting their attention game will start with trying to start a conversation which will be unheard for the first 5 mins, then when you try some different moves you might see some 5 second attention towards what you are doing, and then slowly you will realize that while the hands are somewhere on your hands, the eyes are not! I know, I know, you will try and divide the attention and get it back towards you - but all efforts will fail unless you are actually planning to do a strip tease or a monica maneuver (as my wise friend PG pointed out.)

Anyhoo, thought of the day remains:

'While watching Modern Family, my BF pushed me (read: head) away from the laptop screen while I was making gooey eyes at him. And the worst part is that, this is just some sitcom - He would have trampled me if Batman was on. FML'

The ABCs of cravings!

If you are a woman and if you are reading this – then you know exactly what I am talking about. If you are not one, well then – this is where you might wanna hop off.

There have been times when even I don’t understand the unnatural bolts of manic attacks that we women call craving! I understand the whole pregnant women scenario and even the PMSing- but leaving that aside – what other alibi do we have? Not much to go by I’m guessing. There are so many of these moments that are inexplicably intolerant. Millions maybe. In the interest of time and randomness I call them the ABCs of my cravings.

Attention. Bullshit. Cuisine. Hell Yeah!

I need to be heard. I crave attention right now – I am the clingy bitch, deal with it. I want to stay up all night talking, I wanna go for a drive at 2 in the morning, I want a nice surprise! I want details noticed, moments captured and I want someone to crib to. Well the revelation here is the fact that I am the exact opposite of this under normal circumstances – but the sudden bouts of attention craving dare can’t be stopped.

Coming to Bullshit – this is no easy feat to pull off. But, I do it with quite ease most of the times. I crave trouble… I crave bullshit in life! In a couple of days when things are linear and stress free – I seek out troubles for the love of drama. Most things can be dealt with in their own sweet time, but during the mania zone – everything needs to be dragged out of the box and thrown at my face. Why I do it myself you ask? If I knew the answer then I guess I would have attained nirvana by now.

The last one, I can deal with. Well most times. Apart from the midnight snack & sweet tooth alerts – I am doing pretty well with this one. I have a mental contract nowadays. I give myself a weeks' notice to satiate the culinary desires. So even if I feel like having a grilled chicken wrap with bell peppers salad on a Monday midnight – I’ll make sure that I get it within a week. ‘Cos if I don’t, then it becomes a bigger issue for me. The food crisis leads to an emotional crisis, which evolves into a cranky-ratty vicious cycle of ‘I hate everything in my life’ situation. See, food, interestingly is related to every emotion, occurrence and consequence in my life. So, I take cautious measures not to let this one get out of control – for my own sake, and for the sake of the poor souls around me.

So, there you have it! The ABC’s of my not- so great days.

Until the next rambling…

Cheers my lovelies.

Where are the bad Guys?

Unlike a lot of other people I know, I get most of my brilliant ideas while I am cooking! I don't know for some reason my brain wanders off in weird directions while cooking. So, day before yesterday while I was making my famous mutton curry I got a brainwave while marinating the meat. Some random movie was playing in the background I think it was Forbidden kingdom! Anyhoo.. I started thinking about how cool our villains used to be earlier.

I mean they were a bunch of conniving evil freaks, yet they were extremely creative characters. They had the coolest names, the coolest costumes and THE COOLEST tagline/background tracks. AND, they added an entirely new perspective to the movie plots. Why? Let me explain - In the early years of Indian cinema, pretty much all movies had the essential three bestselling scenes-

1. The hero's old and vegetable-ish mother would get kidnapped by the horrid looking villain who would keep her captive in some random secret hide-out which would have the most advanced high-tech weapons of mass destruction. And, would have all sidekick villains dressed in some kind of evil-academy uniform.

2. The heroine will have at least one attempted rape scene where the hero would miraculously

come and save her sorry ass.

3. The epic battle vs good and evil where the hero will fight like a true champion to save heroine and vegetable mother from the clutches of the evil villain.

Now, this might seem to be extremely repetitive and mundane if not for the villains. The writers would actually go into great lengths to come up with the most evil plots and schemes that these villains would perform to get our attention. From costumes, to fake scars, to accents, to punchlines.. everything would be carefully customized to fit into the otherwise mundane script.

I really miss those villains. I really really do. Now Indian cinema is evolving and its all about creative story telling, screenplay, editing and "direction" and blah. But, what we don't get to see is some real action.. some hardcore entertainment. I mean Dabangg's Cheddi Singh just proves my theory right?! The moment you come up with the typical Masala Bollywood flick where the hero kicks villain's ass in the end:we are ecstatic. We are suckers for a good fight sequence.

In this post, I thought I would pay my respect to the unsung heroes villains in some of the most "hilariously written" as well as "well written" characters in Bollywood. So here goes my favorite top three:

Courtesy: Google Images


1.Gabbar Singh - the movie that redefined Indian cinema and epitomized the true notion of the real villain. This guy reeks evil, in fact evil is his last name. Ok wait, Sigh is his last name. Ya, evil is his middle name! Anyway, Not only did he chop off Thakur's hands and kill his family- he is also the most narcissistic villain of all times. He is proud of his 'wanted' status, and he proudly describes his evil actions and escapades. This one is top of my list - Sholay would have never been Sholay without Gabbar!

Courtesy: Google Images

2. Mogambo - By now, you got the drift around the names bit. I mean did Gabbar and Mogambo's parents purposely coin these names to fit their future evil avatar?!! bizarre! Anyway, moving along.. Mr.India was a cult movie for sure - our very own superhero. An invisible man who fights for justice, and a havoc reeking villain who wants to destroy the country and rule the world. Nothing gets better than this. Mogambo, as you can see from the costume was extremely fashion conscious and also made sure that his crew also dressed in a specific way. What can I say apart from 'Mogambo Khush hua'. In the most crucial ending scene of Mr. India when Mogambo's missile is about to hit Mumbai, Mr. India saves the day and stops the missile from taking its right course. While Mogambo's secret island goes up in flames, Mogambo takes his last breath and says 'Mogambo khush hua'!! * Sighh*

Courtesy: Google Images

3. Crime Master Gogo - Ok! enough pun with the names. But, seriously nothing beats Crime Master Gogo. Now, Andaaz Apna Apna is my all time favorite comedy, with my all time favorite villain Gogo!! I love this guy. I mean look at the cape!! He wants to play with his victim's eyeballs, dude that is just sick. The funniest villain in the history of Bollywood (apart from Jaani Dushman of course) - Ladies and gentlemen, we have GoGo!!!

Now, after seeing such creative characters who have graced us with their presence on silver screen, of course we crave more of such entertainers!! In fact I would like to give an honorable

mention to some more masterpiece villains of India cinema. In random order I have strung their pictures together below. Here's my salute/ rather a standing ovation to Neola, Dr. Dang and Shakaal for the amazing work that they have done in the not so amazing films.

Courtesy: Google Images

I wish we get more of these characters back in business bring back the age old tradition of good vs. evil in our movies!!!! Cheers** ;)

The elephant in my room that I am not talking about, the uninspiring ideas & the upcoming Blogothon!

Im not in a particularly amusing mood today, and nothing happy/funny or random has happened to me this week, which I can write about. In the most uncanny way possible the only big thing of this week is something that I absolutely can not put down in words- because it's gonna open a up a can of worms in my own head and then I will go on fidgeting with it for the rest of the month. (yes there is an elephant in my room and I am ignoring it). But putting that aside, I really feel the need to write something (anything) every week or so, and therefore I was really hammering myself to come up with something that I can write about. And Blank. There is literally nothing I can think of. So, I thought of injecting myself with some inspiration and googled it! Yea. I googled 100 exciting blog topics. Now that I said it out loud, I can't believe that I did that. I googled blog topics!!!!! But you know what was even more shocking that this!! The weirdass ideas that the search results threw up. I don't wanna hurt any feelings here but the number one search result has a certain someone who lists these as blog post ideas- how I use my facebook? and Telling my boss about social media! Ok, I am like whoa!!! This is so not inspiring me!

I can probably come up with a better list of things to blog about (even though, I might not do it right now) so, I spent some time today in the morning, thinking about what I should write about and grouped them in order of Randomness/Funny and Intentionally Insulting. And since, words are not being friendly with me today - I have decided to just list the topics out and get some responses from my blogosphere friends on which are the sureshot best posts to go with. The next week will be so much more fun when I actually start writing on these topics, so please please please (pretty please) tell me which are the posts that you guys really wanna see on this blog.

Here goes the crazy list--

Randomness/Funny

1. Clowns.

2. Guys who pee out the balcony/window

3. Scary Pigeons

4. How working out can kill you.

Intentionally Insulting

1. Floral Denims 101

2. The return on the Pelvic Thrust

3. How I never want to meet you.

4. Justin Bieber

I am really hoping to find out which are the jewels amongst these eight that I wanna write about next week and narrow it down to mammoth posts that will rock my world with pride and sense of self adulation. So drop a hint and let the ramblings begin!

Stop Looking at Me!

There is a better way of looking at everything!

Really? Now why would you burst my bubble like that? I have spent 1 zillion hours and 5 thousand days playing dress up with my life, and this is the best that I can do. After giving myself so much attention you still tell me that there is a better way of doing it!

You are a very strange entity- You! A giant glob of everything that's better than me! A society of critics, a herd of pragmatists, some bits and pieces of old school and also a secret society of rebels. Every time and every where you remind me to be better at being myself, and yes I despise you for that. You tell me that I am an underachiever when I walk past you in a glittering magazine store- shining proudly on the covers of 'Success'; you tell me my hair is funny when I happen to fumble on to the late night infomercials for beautiful women, you also tell me that I am not a dreamer when you point me towards the ambitious crowd in the room. You have pushed me all my life, and told me always that there is a better me out there.

I once read that "the world looks dark through a pair of Rayban.." but what happens if the world is wearing the pair?? They all look at me with their own colors- and expect me to act that color! For a long time I have tried to be a better me, to do things the better way.. but now it seems like a never ending race with time. I have lost the reason, motivation and inclination to do better. I am slowly reconciling with myself being best at what I am.

This will always be the best way for me to do things. This is how I will be, no matter what You say or do. I am putting my foot down and falling into the arms of Morpheus. From now, I will be peaceful, declare truce and will never spend another night thinking of what I could have done better.............so, stop looking at me!

Ringa Ring-O Roses, Pocket Full of Whaaaat???

No I don't think they are nonsense blabberings!!!

As much as we like to think that Nursery rhymes are written just for the heck of it, or to keep naughty little children occupied- I believe that there is more to nursery rhymes than 'innocence' and 'consonance'. Today, I am attempting to contribute my 'little anecdotes' to unraveling the mysteries behind the real meaning and nature of many nursery rhymes: which have made me hack my brain-cells more often than not. I think they served a very special purpose, an almost-secret history is attached to each of them and that they were written for more reasons than just plain child's play.

First of all, camouflaging them as childish rhymes, helped writers guise the true nature of their thoughts and at the same time helped them voice their opinions. In fact, many historical events, political mind-games and monarchical satires have been portrayed through nursery rhymes. Also, by reading them in accordance with their year of origin, you can actually see trails of the evolution of society and how social settings and surroundings changed with the ushering of each era!

[Disclaimer : While reading this post, you may think that I am either mad, deranged or sadistic- all of which might be true though. But if you have read this post so far, then it doesn't make sense to leave the page right now...]

So here goes my list of Rhyming puzzles (no, not as interesting as the Da Vinci code) which holds taboos and *beep* ideas of the yesteryears!!

"Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick-maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato,
'Twas enough to make a man stare."

This one reminds me of the earliest demonstration of homosexual escapades. The era of 1700s was not exactly gay-friendly and but that does not necessarily mean that it did not exist. Straight guys have always been super anxious of gay men. They were probably ten times more homophobic- than they are now; somehow the reference to 'rotten potato' and 'make a man stare' throws light to the real meaning behind this otherwise mindless childish rhyme! Also, its sad to see that from the 1700s to the year 2011, we haven't really come a long way!

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

Well, well, this one's my favorite. Many speculations about its historical connections have been made with Queen Mary I of England, who was believed to have blinded three protestant bishops. Not that I disagree with the historical connections of 'Bloody Mary' but still, I have a couple of things about this rhyme myself, which I can't seem to put out of my mind. The most conspicuous event which hold connection to the rhyme could be the peasant revolt. Not only are the peasants portrayed as 'direction-less' and 'tortured' but at the same time they are symbolic of a revolution-- a forthright depiction of collective uprising, which the rhyme describes as never seen before. Truly, it was one of the first such collective peasant efforts of Medieval England, and one that marked the beginning of a series of efforts which led to the vanquishing serfdom/bonded slaves in England.

Ding dong bell
Pussy's in the well
Who put her in?
Little Johnny Flynn
Who pulled her out?
Little Tommy Stout
What a naughty boy was that
Try to drown poor Pussycat,
Who ne'er did any harm
But killed all the mice
In the Farmer's barn!

Written in the early 1500s, this one reeks of 'witchcraft' and consequent punishments. Not only is the cat depicted purposely as a female, but the author is also silently voicing a protest against cruelty towards these women. A little known fact is that prior to the famous punishments of the 'witch-burning', a small practice called Ducking/Cucking prevailed in England. This was a time when women accused of being witches or accused of sexual crimes (read: Prostitution) were tied to a wooden stool and thrown into the water. This later on paved the path for more heinous punishment and cruelty towards women in the early 1600s. This one is an amazing example of revolutionary thinkers of those dark times, who still had a sane mind to pull the cat out of the water!!

------------------ That's all I have for now, but I leave with one parting question.... what's your favorite nursery rhyme? :P :P

Indriya- Shakti!

No, not that I am feeling extremely spiritual today! It's just that I stumbled upon an article which talks about the different meanings of Indriya and how the meaning differs with each race, religion and belief. In Buddhism, unlike Sanskrit Vedas- Indriya refers to a spiritual faculty of the somewhat the self-control principle. Which needless to pretty interesting! In Sanskrit however, it literally means "agreeing with Indra".. and finally reached its most known definition of the five senses.

Not only did I enjoy reading this piece of article, it also made me think of the millions of notions that the word can be related to. What is 'Indriya' to a blind man? is it the same as it is to a mentally challenged young girl? The way we humans see the world is not only different but uniquely independent. Which is what makes us the most sympathetic and sensitive race of all.

To a blind man 'Indriya' is an overpowering sensation of constant self searching and awareness, whereas to a small mentally challenged girl- 'Indriya' is nothing but a way to get her back to reality- the sound of glass shattering, or a hysteric call from her loved one, the touch of a friend or a jolt of a doctor. For most of us though it is a way to experience the world, and that's why I for me- 'Indriya' is Inspiration.

In my own thought-pedia, Indriya is synonymous with Inspiration. What inspires me to write, what inspires me to sing, what inspires me to love and respect, and what inspires me to strive...

An old poem, a new bottle of perfume, a secret admirer, a romantic dinner, an old faded picture, a tight hug, a much needed advise, a sudden eye-contact, an interesting conversation..... It takes very little to inspire us and take action. It's about realizing your inspiration and following it up with your inspired initiative.

To me- Indriya is nothing, but ways to find newer & greater inspirations everyday!

Take on Ramayan continued.... Lets come to Vanar Sena :D

So, as the story was told in a nutshell in the earlier post (when I imparted hopes of returning with a post on my take on Vanar Sena) now let me get in to the details of the Vanar Sena AKA the Army of Monkeys (taller, stronger, sharper than Men). So, as you must have read in the last post, after Sita was abducted by the Kind and Benevolent (yet revengeful) Ravan... Ram and Laxman go crazy searching for her. (Neha AKA Jhaansi ki Raani says he is Lax-man, you know like Spiderman & Superman.. lol).
Anyway, they wander through the forest searching for her... Sita! Sita tum kahan ho, but all in vain! ( Dude! you should have thought of that before you went on a poaching spree to kill the gold deer aka Marich) So, while they were all over the place looking for her... the guys came across Hanuman. Now, I know what you are thinking, Hanuman as in an intelligent superpowerful monkey right! Well wrong.. this is where my theory kicks in. So all this is happening as a part of a very old school drama, somewhere in TretaYug (Ramayan is one of the oldest texts ever written). So, as per the story, Ram meets Hanuman and Hanuman introduces him to his tribe leader Sugreeb(now Banished by brother Bali). Sugreeb and Ram sign a treaty: you help me kill Ravan, I help you kill Bali. So, the treaty is a win win situation for both. So Ram kills Bali, and then Sugreeb raises his army of Monkeys and Bears, builds a bridge, gets Sita Maiyya... you all know this part!

Now coming back to my theory again, the strong suspicion roots from the fact that writer Valmiki, got lost as a child in the forests and was raised by a hunter. He later turned in to a dacait/bandit and indulged in to plunder and loot. Later under the advise of Maharishi Narada (who narrated this story of Ramayan to him) he became a wise man and penned the great epic sometime between the 4th and the 2nd century BC.
So, now this got me thinking... wandering in the forests he must have encountered people in those centuries who used to live in forests in tribes. Maybe of some African-Indian or Dravidian origin whose bone structure was yet suffering from the marks of the famous Ape to Man theory of evolution (as my frien A points out).. their bodies were fit and strong as they were jungle people and they were more like Tarzan, inhabitants of the Trees and loved to swing on the branches. ***Drum rolls** the catch here is, Ram and Laxman meet this Jungle-Tribe-Tarzan like strong and agile individual swinging from branches. He introduced himself and offered help. The Jungle warrior was actually Van Nar which was later mistakenly (or maybe on purpose) interpreted as Vanar!! So, Hanuman introduced him to his tribes the other Van Nars and together raised an army to save Sita... As simple as that! No Monkey business here!!

Coming back to the poor misunderstood Ravan ( I mean Hanuman maybe confused to be a monkey, but Ravan has even graver problems at hand)... think about it people. If Ravan was so bad then picture this scenario: Hanuman goes to Sita as a messenger of Ram, he is captured and brought before Ravana. Ravana orders to kill him but then he decides not to as that would be breaking the laws of Justice! Hanuman came as a messenger and not as a warrior. (See how cool Ravana was!) Anyway, so under the influence of the enraged court members, to insult Hanuman, he ordered to put a tail on him and set it on fire. (No the tail I believe was originally not there!!) So, these court people thought, he is a Jungle Warrior, let us insult him by treating him like an animal... so pin the tail on the man, and make him a monkey! Sigh!!
However, they misunderstood the power of this Van Nar, and they watched helplessly as with the false pinned tail Van Nar raged havoc and burnt down half of Lanka (this may be a little exaggerated!) and then he quietly returned to Ram and they started preparations of the great fight!

So there it is, I said it! the load is off my chest now... :D
And please people, I hope you understand that I have done quite a bit of research on this ;P

My take on Laxman!!

As I was reading through the summary of Ramayana a very weird thought hit me. And it hit me right in to the head! Now before I got in to that theory, let me accustom you guys on how the story of Ramayana unfolds and what is it that sets the base of Indian Mythology for ages to come. In a nutshell, the story is about a young, handsome and devoted (wife-loving) prince of Ayodhya (who despite the polygamy-like practices of those ages had immense love for his Wife Sita). And in this un-dying love for his woman he crosses saath-samunder to avenge the humiliation of his wife. So as wars all over the world has been fought over some woman or the other... Ramayana was no exception.

Going back to the story... Dasharatha, King of Aydohya, has three wives and four sons. Ram is the eldest and the best guy. His mother is Kaushalya, a mother who has carved the niche for all Hindi Film mothers through the next few thousand years (especially the 70s!!!). Bharata is the son of his second and favorite wife of the King, Queen Kaikeyi. The other two are twins, Lakshman and Shatrughna. Ram gets married to Sita after winning her love in the pompous Swayamvar, and brings her back to Ayodhya. Dashrath decides to hand over the throne to Ram, who is seriously good at this job. However, King's favourite wife is not happy with the arrangement at all! She thought that she is obviously the favourite dame of the family and she might as well use her charms to get her way (very clever, I must say! As my friend Khushboo pointed out.. she is more like Samantha from Sex and the city!). So obviously, the charm worked (women know how to get their way). She wanted her son Bharat to get the throne and send Ram to some Forest place to roam around for a while. Well not a while, actually 14 years. Phew! that's quite a lot. Anyway! So Ram is like really the Good Obedient Son. He goes away to the forest, and Sita and younger bro Laxman follow him. They were having a nice time over there, but then came a twist in the tale. An episode that made me think!!

So enter Surpanakha! But before I forget, in the original story and the photographs Rama and Bharata are blue, perhaps indicating they were dark skinned or originally south Indian deities. What I dont get is why Blue!! I mean even Lord Krishna is drawn in a blue paint. After much thinking, I came to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe... in those days' paintings, they did not use the color black cos if they painted it black they would not be able to demarcate them from looking like Rakhsas who were always painted in black. So to separate the somewhat black/dark ppl
from rakhshas they made the rest of the dark guys Blue. Hmmmm! interesting!!!

Anyway, coming back to Surpanakha! So, much read Wikipedia describes Surpanakha to be of the same breed as Aphrodite of Greece who started the war of Trojan. Surpanakha AKA Indian Aphrodite, is described in some Tamil versions of Ramayana as a beautiful woman with fish-like eyes (also known as Meenakhsi), but in Valmiki's Ramayana, she is a Rakshasa (quite ugly so to say). Anyway, not judging her by her looks, the original story tells us that she was awed by Ram in the jungles and approached him for marriage, Ram was monogamist, he directed her towards bro Laxman who also refused her. She then got angry and tried to insult Sita, Laxman enraged with her guts cut off her nose and Surpanakha ki Naak cut gayi!. She went back to Lanka (Sri Lanka) and complained to her mighty brother (Asura King) Ravana... who was pretty pissed off with the whole thing, and went to the forest and kidnapped Sita in some kind of a private Jet plane, and imprisoned her in Lanka. Ram obviously had to get her back. So, Ram, Lakshman and the monkey army (will write about that theory later) build a bridge from the tip of India to Sri Lanka and went on to get Sita back. A battle followed of course. Ram killed and massacred the Ravan family, Laxman even very slyly kills Ravana's very hot and muscular son (*sob sob*). Meghnad/Indrajeet AKA the hot son was too powerful to be defeated and so Laxman kills him from behind when he is sitting at prayer without his arms (not much of a heroes' fight I must say). So finally Ram frees his lovely wiffey and brings her back to the Kingdom (14 years is over by now). And then Sita has to give an Agnipariksha of her purity (don't even get me started on that) and then they live happily ever after... well not exactly happily! A lot of Luv-Kush drama followed.. :D -- But coming back to the point, the real twist of the story! In Valmiki's Ramayana, the Ravana is the bad guy, and Surpanakha is the Vamp. But what I could make out was the the poor Ravana was a nothing but a highly misunderstood fellow. I read this beautiful poem once by a renowned Bengali Poet, Michael Madhusudan Dutt, called Meghnaad Vadh Kavya, in which my sympathies for Ravana first started budding. Well, what I get from this Valmiki story is that...

The real deal perhaps was that, Surpanakha a lonely widowed female came across Rama, whom she liked. But Ram was unavailable so she went to Laxman. Now Laxman, left his wife behind and was very lonely, so they had an affair. But Surpanakha insisted on Marriage like a true Bharatiya Nari.. Laxman refused!! Shaadi aur tumse.. kabhi nahi!! huh! so Surpanakha suddenly turns Jhaansi ki Raani and decides to tell Sita about her Devar's misadventure. But Laxman got freaked out! and then he disrespected Surpanakha's honor (ahemm! I don't want to use Bad words in the post.. but I am sure all you guys know what 'Naak kat jaana' means in Hindi, especially when referred to a woman!) So with all the disrespect and humiliation she goes back to her brother Ravana. Now what would any Brother do in a situation like this!! Ravana is more powerful than an underworld Don, and he has the resouces (private jet and all)... So he says, you do stuff to my sister (ahemm!!) so I will kidnap your bhabhi! And off he goes... but never in the whole kidnapping process does he ever disrespect sita by cutting off her nose (:P). So, I think it was pretty justified. All Laxman had to do was to admit to his bhaiya bhabi of his extramarital affair, but nooooo!! He had to go and start off a war, and kill poor Ravana! I can't help but feel sad for the whole thing!!

I will take a short break now... will return with more on Ramayana Parde ke Peeche!!