Thursday, January 7, 2010

... UnAnswered!!

Unconditional Love! Is it really forever. The Question has haunted me for a long time. Sure I understand how two people meet, fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together... and so on. But What happens when you meet, fall in love-- but don't spend the rest of your lives together?? This is the question that we all want answers to.. in other words.. "what if it doesnt work out?"

What does this phrase really mean? What if What doesn't work out. What is the end result that we are trying to achieve by trying to work something out. Is the purpose of a relationship not to spend quality time with your partner, and be able to talk about anything and everything under the sun? Is the purpose as simple as getting married and having kids? Is that what we are all trying to achieve? *SHUDDER*

If things DON'T work out and you DON'T end up having babies in a beautiful big home, Does your love not work out? What happens then? You completely ignore the existance of the other person and go ahead and make babies with someone else! But is it really that easy to get over someone or to forget someone? Sure, time heals all. But what does it heal, if there is nothing to heal. There was nothing wrong with your relationship, everything was fine. Then what is there to heal? The fact remains that you spent an awesome number of years with someone and then you split up and did not have kids with him. What do you heal here? My question here is -- Is Love a simple transaction? or is it really a deep feeling. If it is the latter, then you can't really move on with your life Can you?

You may get married to someone and have kids with someone, but you will continue to love the person with whom things did not work out. That is just messed up right? Ok, then let me ask.. what about one-sided love? I recently heard a story wherein a lover came back into a grown woman's life once again after 30 odd years only to be dumped again! That was harsh! Why did this even happen? There was no relationship to brood on, the woman had denied him 30 years back and she did the same thing today, then why was the lover still in Love? Maybe he was just in love with the idea of love, or maybe not. Its too confusing to think about it.

While I am on the question spree, I am bouncing one more.. What is happily ever after? Is it ten years really? I think its only ten years into marriage when you still feel connected to your spouse, you just about had children and they are young, cute and adorable. Your spouse still remembers your birthdays and gets you stuff and not to mention the sex is good. What happens after ten years of marriage can NOT be described as happily ever after. With the kids screaming and bills piling up, not to mention you now suffer from low blood pressure and your spouse from high blood pressure. You come home to discipline your maid and to make sure kids are studying. At night you sleep beside your spouse almost like a life-less pillow and in the morning fight with him on trivial issues. Which part of this was happily ever after again??

Anyway, enough questions for the day. If I continue at this rate, I might never reach that stage :P

Post-Marriage Syndrome!

I have realized that marriage is almost synonymous with growing out of your teens. Remember the time when you turned 20 one day and opened your box of old stuff. You just sat there laughing at the clothes, shoes and pictures of your 16-something days and thought to yourself, "what the hell was I thinking"!! But you know well that you might give your arm and leg to turn back time and go back to those carefree days of fun and frolic. Well, the same goes with marriage.

Before getting married you live in this crappy apartment with clothes lying all around you, surviving on mostly junk food and throwing random parties- waking up in the morning-afters and finding your house a mess, watching crappy soaps with a warm cup of coffee and fried food and aimlessly lying around the house on long weekend mornings. Life was Fun for sure. But Life sure does change after marriage (especially when you get the happy married woman syndrome).

Suddenly everything that you did in your pre-married life becomes miniscule, and blissfully careless.

You tend to ridicule your smaller rooms as a singleton and your small apartment which at one point of time seemed nice and cozy now seem like pigeon-holes. Suddenly matching curtains and sofa-sets are of huge eminence to you over every other possible thing and you fail to realize how your single friends are still living in such a mess with unco-ordinated pillow covers!

Knock-in the head number two should come once you realize that you are using the food processor way to often. By that I mean almost, every day. Thinking about the days when you just had a cup of cofee and maggi makes you shudder and think how could you have led such a risky life. Roti, paratha and dal have become common house-hold chores every day, and your body has stopped responding to words like: "lets skip dinner and have toasted bread with cheese". You have obviously by now started pittyfully looking at your single friends and thinking, how are they even living such a life, and you are thankful and grateful for each and every loving moment spent in your beautiful home with your adorable husband.

When you are single, the only thing that matches are your clothes, and when your married that list is long. Cutlery, Curtain, Cushions and more! You long to hear the "Honey Im home" and you quickly get warm food on the table and relish every bit of life when your husband looks at you and says, "this tastes amazing".

You despised this life once but now that you are a part of it, you are loving it. If you have come this far then there is no cure for you. You are the married woman of the century and there is no stopping you! You have started giving cooties to your single friends who aww you every minute and get aww-ed back.

But to us single people, every day brings newer crappier things to think about. We might not have the color coordinated bed sheets to keep us smiling but we do have one thing that we all end up missing eventually!