Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Trying to fight what I created... Is it the conscience again????

Conscience Calling!

Laid back, on my bed, when I started to pretend to start thinking of something, I realized
that pretensions are part of the "everyday life" of the human conscience. The word conscience
starts to ring a bell. It is true in every aspect of the word: taken in the literal sense,
it means conning science. When there is absolutely no scientific proof to back up the theory
that's playing in your mind, or you are distracted beyond belief by something like a roach
creeping up your thoughts -- which is mostly baseless from the scientific point of view:
" just blame it on the conscience".

It's a charm to see how things progress in your mind. Two days later from now you will wake
up suddenly one morning to find that what you did last night was the most morally disturbing thing ever. Did you drink too much? Did you shout at him? Did he shout back... Ah Wat the hell!!
who cares..?

I guess your conscience does.

Wat is the deal with this conscience stuff anyway. The people you judge to be immoral from
your point of conscience are living a happy healthy life, while you rot and rot inside
thinking that your conscience is giving you a hard time. Blame it on the upbringing then...
My conscience is a cripple without the arm rests of the too decent up bringing. Is it that??
Or is it that, people who are so called devoid of morality are happier and end up successful
in life and miserable in hell (in the after life of course).

Again, why do I even care.... Blame it on the conscience guys! It's making me sweat out too
much... I need a break from all this. I need some blindfolds for the conscience... Anything
you find in Ebay or Walmart.. Just lemme know..!!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The sun on the other side of the valley was setting so slowly that for a moment I felt that it would take forever to set.
May be the valley just refused to let go of the golden crimson rays in the last hope of clinging on to whatever is unreal
and make-belief. I thought to my self, even we are the same 'aren't we?'. We are always hoping to hold on to what ever we
know will leave us one day. It is a desperate cry to claim what is close to you and whatever comforts you... but doesnt
really belong to you.

The sun was almost gone. The mountain on the other side had fallen asleep by then, 'turn off the lights, im done for the day
..' he said. I looked at him, pleaded him to keep his eyes open for a few minutes. My wish was granted though. The sun's rays
were still merging and he struggled to keep his eyes open. I looked deep into his eyes, I did not mean to intrude though.
The darkness filled my eyes through his... was I wrong to indulge myself to this extent. What should influence me? Should I
open myself to him or should I close my arms around myself?.... Questions gathered around me in the darkness.... answers
.. awaited!

I remembered the how the morning was once again, 'it was bright and chirpy, fresh and new!' Like brand new clothes that bring
a smile to your face. You like its smell, you like the way it feels on your body, the morning smoothly grows on you and
descends into a warm romantic afternoon. You are lazy but you know that the wind is blowing outside and you can still climb on top of
the hill and shout it out loud... 'all this is mine... Im in love...'

But as the sun descends you know it was perfect romance, it had to end. It may seem like it would never come back to you
again, you stare at the hills at the distance and you feel the way you felt when you were near him. When you climbed up
the hill and played in the green grass, got lost around the huge trees... looked up at the blue sky and felt safe.

He was there for you..atleast you thought he was. Now it is too dark to go back. The sun has set, it is not safe to venture
in to the hills, he won't be able to protect you anymore.

.............But you know the there will be morning again.. the sun will shine just for you. The only thing you need to do
is to fall asleep and feel comfortable. The hills will be alive again.

........ " Such is the way of love,
Morning of glory, noon of laughter and romance of evening,
The more you have ... the more you wish,
The more you wish ... the more you think.
What if the sun never sets, what if the love stays alive!
Let there be no end, let there only be the beginning....
Where ever I awake, wherever I lie,
I turn on my bed and let me find you by my side."