Thursday, February 26, 2009

5 Random Things About My Not so Random Friends.

So, Facebookers are going wild tagging random people in their top 25 things. Well, I thought I will have a little fun of my own, since I have already written about myself, its time for me to throw some light on the people around me. Please note: All characters mentioned in this post are real and all resemblance to every person living is purely intentional. Have Fun!!

Monosha AKA buddies across state boundaries:

1. Likes to shop for shoes and has a big Jimmy Choo Poster on her desk, I dont see the significance of shoes at work. (Considering she is in Hyd, where most women around are seen wearing hideous footwear.) However, I admire the fact that she stands out in the crowd.

2. Has bought a new pair of huge sunglasses which are bigger than her face.

3. Is so sweet to people that my gut wrenches in disgust, and sometimes I want to hold her and shake her and say... Woman!! Be Rude :P

4. Has one of coolest collection of shoes that I have seen in my life.

5. Has lost an incredible amount of weight in the past couple of months which makes me jealous to the core. And she is following Kareena Kapoor's Diet!! AHHHHHHH!!:P

Akanksha Shukla AKA Bitch Sister:

1. Shukla has a super rich AT&T Mama (Uncle) who gives her a new phone every quarter (Not bullshitting). Its like her Quarterly bonus. I so hate her!

2. She has more clothes than she can wear, and her wish is to have her own walk-in closet some day. (We all Wish)!!

3. She is the master of Assertive Submissiveness. She will get her things done, and no one will ever suspect that she made them do it!! It's fun: I wanna try it someday.

4. She can NEVER get anyone in to trouble. Even if she has evidence that screams bloody murder, she will sit on it and lay eggs.

5. She has a soft toy dog (weird looking) and calls it Maggie! The Dog has traveled to many places around the office, courtesy Sidhant AKA the Prankster @Work.

Khushboo Aulakh- the dreaded creature AKA Flatmate:

1. Khushboo has vanished from the blogging hemisphere.

2. She has a soap in the bathroom that freaks me out: It looks like a piece of shit gone bad!(no exaggerations here)!

3. She keeps another half of the piece-of-shit-looking soap in the freezer and claims it makes her skin glow.

4. She gifted me a bubble pen which glows in the dark. (well I made her buy it).

5. Khushboo buys everything that I buy withing the next one month. She is the shoppo-stalker. Now we both have all the same clothes!! well almost.. :P

Aruni Bhattacharya AKA Alice in Wonderland:

1. Aruni owns the collection of 'National Museum of Ugliness' Shoes. The only decent ones she wears are borrowed from Maryann!!

2. Aruni is the walking talking falling machine! She can fall down at any place, at any time and cause random accidents around the clock!

3. If you see her wearing something white in the morning, you can be assured it will have atleast one food stain on it by evening.

4. Aruni is Alice! She needs tuition to say No to people. She nods and says yes even if her mind screams NOOOOOO!!!

5. Aruni sways her head from side to side and flips her very small set of hair when she listens to her favorite music! And when she is happy she flaps her arms like a bird!!

Well, there you go! Don't make faces at the post after you guys read it! I mean no harm and you guys know it, just relax have fun and take a chill-pill ( I know that sounds so Eighth Grade!).

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Top Angle OverView!

Here are 20 Things that you guys did not know about me and things (I am sure) you do not want to know either. In any case you will be inflicted with this pain, so don't put so much effort in avoiding this post.

1. I am a shopaholic. An Ex/reformed shopaholic at this time, but I will get back to my usual self after a while.

2. I hate social gatherings where people serve finger food and pseudo snacks, and every one greets each other with page 3 type air kisses.

3. I love cheese, and I can mix it with any kind of food. (Once made Rajma with cheese, and still loved it).

4. I like blowing bubbles, and pens which glow in the dark and have rubber stamp heads.

5. I collect old flight boarding passes and movie tickets for no apparent reasons, but whenever I try to clear out my bag, I get zillions of them.

6. I want to go to Paris once before I turn 25.

7. I have traveled to almost all places in India, yes I am a travel freak, and I have been to the far corners of North-East as well.

8. I want to own a pair of nice Chanel and D&G Shades someday, preferably next year!:P

9. I have a tattoo of a tribal butterfly on my right ankle and I got it done as a birthday gift to myself.

10. I have a phobia of falling from the stairs, so I never run down the stairs even if I am in super hurry. (Yes! I fell down the stairs and slit my forehead when i was little).

11. I love amusement parks. I am afraid of most of the rides, but I just love to go there to see screaming people. I love watching Nervous screaming people on top of a scary-to-death freak-show ride.

12. I hate adventure sports, I am gutless!! Boating is fun! (with life jackets on):P

13. At one point of time I was addicted to Hajmola and used to have almost 10 in a day!!! (Phew! it dont know how I quit that):P

14. I like annoying people around me, it is just that I have more annoying people around me.

15. I like to say, "I told you so".

16. I dont want to donate my eyes, kidney, liver or any goddamn part of my body when I am dead. Yes, I know I can't take them all along with me, but at least I wont be a eye-less, kidney-less ghost.

17. I like telling my mom that I am more matured than what she was at my age: (although I was already born by the time my mom was my age).

18. I believe in feel-good factors and Karma. I strongly believe in Karma and I know for a fact that what goes around comes around.

19. I am the worst romantic. I plan lousy surprises and I have run out of gift ideas on Birthdays.

20. My favorite pass-time is blaming stuff on my boyfriend. Although, I know for a fact that I can't survive for even a day without his interference &cribbing, and without me goofing up something or the other. :D

Thank you for your patience! :D

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Cast Away!

How many of us get to know when we are cast away? How many times do we realize that we are no longer a part of some one else' lives. How many of us really care? I am sure we all do. Maybe the fear of the realization is what keeps us from coming to the dreaded conclusion. I write to express that stress, that dread and that confusion.

I am no longer a part of you all. I am no longer in your clan. I don't get you people, I don't enjoy sipping tea with you guys. I am no longer in your league. You guys are weird. You guys are pseudo-intellectuals. You talk about right and wrong, you make judgments, you forecast relationship disasters. I don't get you. You punish me! You have cast me away. We are not the dream team anymore!...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Want to write a Book?

Well, I was having this random conversation with a friend of mine about a book that I have been writing for over a year now! (ahemmm... I don't think I will come around to complete it ever). While we were at it, I realized that I was not pinging her anymore... she was bombarding me with never ending ideas and story lines, and by the time I could breathe, my entire plot had changed. What are friends for!!!??

So, what I particularly liked about the conversation was the vigor with which she described the successful ingredients of A BestSeller. Read on and smile:

1. MBA Degree: someone in the book would have done that
2. One Abroad Location: either studies or job placement
3. Lust, sexual gory details
4. Love At last: true love....bees and butterfly
5. Heartbreak: sob sob
6. Drugs, Drugs, and more Drugs: coke, hash, weed....put them all!
7. Marriage: unsuccessful with a few flings
8. Resurrection: enlightenment
9. Happy Ending
10. Final Twist in the Story
protagonist dies!

Well, this got me in to thinking! Do I really need to write a book? I could write a story that goes like this:

Once there was a woman who did her MBA and went to England for a nice job. She met a man over there and he was very handsome! They fell in love. They had steamy sex on every piece of furniture they owned and they got married. But soon after that she found out that he was cheating on her with his secretary and then came an ugly divorce with uglier alimony. She was crying day and nite and did not know what to do, she indulged in drinking and at last resorted to drugs. But One day, a holy saint came to her rescue and chanted some hymns to her. Finally with the help of one Ganga Snan, some Yoga and therapy, she was back in track. She found happiness again. But It wouldn't last forever. The drugs had done the damage. She was dying, and she knew it. Finally she died.

I hope you guys liked the story, come and take my autograph when this becomes a bestseller!! lol (:P) See you in the next episode of 'Kill the Author!' :D

Monday, February 9, 2009

A life... not so much!

I woke up next to a small dingy broken window! As my sight collided with the long(ish) crack on the glass, the throbbing pain inside returned again. How hard did I smash that thing? Thinking things over for a minute, I dragged myself out of the mat that I was lying/sleeping on. Torn and Rugged at the sides, the threads screaming for mercy, I took a quick look around in a desperate attempt of momentary surveillance! Phew! I was alone. But for How long was the question?!!

I kicked my coffee stained low table to the side and magazine cut outs fell all over the place, Like I care to pick them up! Slowly I made my way in to the kitchen and hunted for a clean pot to heat the water for coffee. I saw a small lump of clogged blood on the marble slab, and a thunder raced down by spine, and then I realized.. Oh! it was just the rat. The place smelled of grass and tobacco. The lingering smell got me thinking when will I start again! I looked down on the heap of garbage on which I fixed my gaze on the unopened envelopes of Bills and more Bills. I am tired of gambling, borrowing money and blowing it up on grass and weed. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was brown and uncombed for days, my mascara was rolling down my cheeks and I have never looked better.

What's life when there is no adventure I thought. Maybe I am in deep shit, and I am preparing myself for the endless misery that has been hurled in to me.. but I can not cut myself out of this. I need to smoke right now I thought! I hunted desperately around the messy cramped room to light a joint. My heart started racing and I couldnt breathe until I could find one. But where is it? It's like cutting my lungs out and wrenching my stomach with my own hands! How did I become so dependent? Or rather, when?

I quickly throw aside the empty cigarette packs, fell over the laundry kept on one side for weeks now, stepped over unwanted packs of packaged food. I was hungry for something else I guess. Finally, I found it... not the joint, but the syringe! I felt at home again. As I pushed it deeper and deeper down my vein, I felt the numbness sweep into me... I was going in to my happy place again. It turned in to a pitch dark hole very soon. I lifted my head once and finally felt my body succumb to the dark cold waves which swept me off into a bliss of omnipresence. I will arise again, like a Phoenix from the ashes of my own burns, i will burn my pain in to ashes and arise again to the universe less known to mankind. To live again... not to survive anymore!