Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Letting it all out....& Moving on.

I've been trying to write for a long time now, but haven't been able to. Words fall short at times when you know that whatever is happening around you is far more bigger and complex than you ever thought it could be. I've had a rough last week no doubt, but there are some people for whom the last week has been   life changing. And, no, not in a positive way.

I've seen the two most strongest people I know break down and cry. The two people who were positive, headstrong and hellbent on getting things better. When someone close to you is suffering, you want to do everything in your capacity and even beyond that to help that person. And sometimes, when you know that nothing can be done: you give in to fate. But, not these two. For months I've seen them fighting for her, praying for her and taking care of her. That someone who is probably one of the most talented, creative and magnetic people who we have come to know in our short lives. My grandfather used to say, that God needs good people to be around Him all the time, which is why He calls upon those first who are the most wonderful people. It's unfair to us though, when someone so young, energetic, so full of life, leaves us behind, but maybe God needs them more than we do. Although they leave us behind, and while they might not be with us in body - but in love and spirit they always remain with us. No one can take away those years of love, and cherished moments.

I've been trying to keep my mind off a lot of things for the past week. Batman will be leaving office soon and yes I am trying to be as supportive as I can be. It's for the good no doubt and opens a whole new world of opportunities for him where I am more than certain he will shine. He's going to a great company at a really nice profile plus pay, which is great; but at the same time I am getting these butterflies in my stomach (not the nice ones) everytime I think he wont be around in office anymore everytime I feel the urge to rant or crib or just simply walk up to his desk and smile. The smoke breaks won't be the same for sure without our usual suspects. PG is already working in the next building and lets face it PG planning a smoke break after lunch at 9 am in the morning isn't really fun, and definitely not as exciting as dragging someone off their desk to tell them something which just cannot wait. So, yeah.. it's just gonna be V & R around now- and thank God for that, otherwise I would have lost my sanity. I'm still keeping it very cool in front of Batman so that he doesnt melt down at the last moment and start hugging his laptop and running around the office TT table. I'm telling myself - this change is probably for the best and yes, no doubt the next turn is full of surprises but I am counting on all good ones.

On another note - there is some thing that I wish I could say to someone I know. I have been listening to her for some time now, and trying to reason and reflect and at least identify with her problems... but it just seems so unrealistically foolish that I am not able to grope with it. It could be a simple case of utter chaos & confusion mixed with some extra dosage of destructive love - but still not justified enough. Think about it this way - If he loves you, he'll let you be, he'll let you be happy. If you think you will be happy with him in the long run then maybe you would not be talking about the smaller issues all the time.. it's always the smaller issues that snowball into the atom bomb as the years pass by. And finally, if he hits you - it's over. You just call it quits. If you are a self-respecting woman who has some sense, and any love left for yourself as a person, as a daughter, as a sister or simply as YOU - there is no way you can let him disrespect you. Whatever the reason is. Everytime a disaster happens in your relationship and you end up in a volcanic fight - ask yourself, is the person bigger than the fight? If the answer is no - then it's not worth it sweetheart. Move on and get a reality check.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is - life throws these hurdles in our faces and bashes us up - but we gotta pick up and move on. That's all for now. Will be back soon with more mid-week crisis stories 'cos I am sure a couple are boiling for me right across the corner.

Friday, January 27, 2012

A Boundless Moment

"We stood a moment so in a strange world,
Myself as one his own pretense deceives;
And then I said the truth (and we moved on).
A young beech clinging to its last year's leaves."

                                                                 -- Robert Frost.

Friday, January 13, 2012

2012 Drool list!

So, the year is off to a cruel cold start, and I'm in the turtle mode as of now. I'm cooking only once in two weeks or so, and that too concentrating only on desserts and stuff, I'm washing my hair less regularly and coming to work like a polar bear with 6 layers of clothing. I'm highly unpleasant and cranky most mornings and a crybaby on most nights. So, now that I have established the unpleasantness of the situation, I am attempting to cheer myself up by thinking about the good things that are about to happen this year.

Numero Uno - The winters are about to end. SOON. * would do a double jump and cartwheel if I could*

The rest of the awesomeness that's about to follow -

"The Dark Knight Rises" - the one that we have been anticipating for the longest time is going to release this year (fingers crossed) and it's gonna be soooo good.

Among other things, I now own a Galaxy nexus phone, courtesy office holiday gift, which kicks ass! Ice cream sandwhich is bringing in a lot of happiness and is slowing down work for me thanks to a hundred million games that I downloaded. Can't emphasize this enough but I love Google. Yeah! I own three smartphones now :P

Another thing which is buzzworthy and is causing a rumors in bucket-loads, this year is  (if at all launched) - Canon EDS 5D Mark III -- "Canon has confirmed that it is working on a brand new full-frame DSLR." This will be brilliant no doubt.

Mini-coooooooopers! I can't wait to spot them on the roads soon and wave like a maniac and throw a bunch of flying kisses at them. 

So, yeah.. hopefully I'll find more good things to watch out for and keep myself entertained and less grouchy through the year.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Winters & Role reversal drama..

I loathe winters. I really do, with all my heart. The cold mornings, the damp wet bedsheets, the icy floors, the effing fog - I hate it all. And what's worse, my body and mind are in sync with this feeling of winter-hatred. So, generally during the first couple of weeks in Jan  (coldest fucking month FYI) I go into a state of semi-depression and denial. Depression cos of the fact that I can't get my ass out of bed and head to work, and denial - cos I just overlook the fact that I have to actually work for a living. Two days in a row, this week I missed important meetings in the morning and kept sleeping and snuggling up. This is just not right man, this is the most irresponsible I have ever been, and all 'cos of the damn weather. Also, I feel sick all the time, feverish almost every two hours and shiver like a bitch even with the heater on.

The other interesting trend this winter is that the roles have been reversed, and it's amusing to see Batman adapting so fast & furiously to my winter morning dramas. Generally, I am the one to wake up first, make tea and then coax him to get up for half an hour or so. Then he gets up all mad and screaming 'cos I wasn't able to wake him up earlier and got late for work. And the drill goes on... Somehow, now the tables have turned. Yesterday morning I got up and there was a cup of steaming tea waiting for me by the bed. Batman making tea!!!!!! It's the end - of - the - world phenomenon actually. Only in dire situations will he actually enter the kitchen, wash the utensils and make tea. It's funny actually, now that he tries to wake me up in the morning for hours and then finally resigns. And also has to bear with the constant bickering of 'its so cold,' 'im so cold', 'i hate cold', 'i hate delhi winter' etc etc

So, while it's fun to see Batman running around and picking up after me, it's also unnerving and depressing to see myself like this. I'd like to believe that I am quite active otherwise, but right now I am a big lump of hopelessness!! Some one get this effing January out of my face!