Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Letting it all out....& Moving on.

I've been trying to write for a long time now, but haven't been able to. Words fall short at times when you know that whatever is happening around you is far more bigger and complex than you ever thought it could be. I've had a rough last week no doubt, but there are some people for whom the last week has been   life changing. And, no, not in a positive way.

I've seen the two most strongest people I know break down and cry. The two people who were positive, headstrong and hellbent on getting things better. When someone close to you is suffering, you want to do everything in your capacity and even beyond that to help that person. And sometimes, when you know that nothing can be done: you give in to fate. But, not these two. For months I've seen them fighting for her, praying for her and taking care of her. That someone who is probably one of the most talented, creative and magnetic people who we have come to know in our short lives. My grandfather used to say, that God needs good people to be around Him all the time, which is why He calls upon those first who are the most wonderful people. It's unfair to us though, when someone so young, energetic, so full of life, leaves us behind, but maybe God needs them more than we do. Although they leave us behind, and while they might not be with us in body - but in love and spirit they always remain with us. No one can take away those years of love, and cherished moments.

I've been trying to keep my mind off a lot of things for the past week. Batman will be leaving office soon and yes I am trying to be as supportive as I can be. It's for the good no doubt and opens a whole new world of opportunities for him where I am more than certain he will shine. He's going to a great company at a really nice profile plus pay, which is great; but at the same time I am getting these butterflies in my stomach (not the nice ones) everytime I think he wont be around in office anymore everytime I feel the urge to rant or crib or just simply walk up to his desk and smile. The smoke breaks won't be the same for sure without our usual suspects. PG is already working in the next building and lets face it PG planning a smoke break after lunch at 9 am in the morning isn't really fun, and definitely not as exciting as dragging someone off their desk to tell them something which just cannot wait. So, yeah.. it's just gonna be V & R around now- and thank God for that, otherwise I would have lost my sanity. I'm still keeping it very cool in front of Batman so that he doesnt melt down at the last moment and start hugging his laptop and running around the office TT table. I'm telling myself - this change is probably for the best and yes, no doubt the next turn is full of surprises but I am counting on all good ones.

On another note - there is some thing that I wish I could say to someone I know. I have been listening to her for some time now, and trying to reason and reflect and at least identify with her problems... but it just seems so unrealistically foolish that I am not able to grope with it. It could be a simple case of utter chaos & confusion mixed with some extra dosage of destructive love - but still not justified enough. Think about it this way - If he loves you, he'll let you be, he'll let you be happy. If you think you will be happy with him in the long run then maybe you would not be talking about the smaller issues all the time.. it's always the smaller issues that snowball into the atom bomb as the years pass by. And finally, if he hits you - it's over. You just call it quits. If you are a self-respecting woman who has some sense, and any love left for yourself as a person, as a daughter, as a sister or simply as YOU - there is no way you can let him disrespect you. Whatever the reason is. Everytime a disaster happens in your relationship and you end up in a volcanic fight - ask yourself, is the person bigger than the fight? If the answer is no - then it's not worth it sweetheart. Move on and get a reality check.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is - life throws these hurdles in our faces and bashes us up - but we gotta pick up and move on. That's all for now. Will be back soon with more mid-week crisis stories 'cos I am sure a couple are boiling for me right across the corner.


  1. I'm trying really hard NOT to assign faces and people to all the pseudonyms you've used in this post :)

    Nothing else to say, sees like you've done a half-decent job of calming yourself down through your writing. Hope things get better soon. They always do..

  2. When mind doesn't work if you want to write, all you have to do is grab a pen and a paper, your hand does the needful! :)