Monday, August 22, 2011

It's my problem, not yours!

Home. Closing my eyes again and again to remember what it feels like to be back at home. On days like these when everything seems to be unfair, I try to recoil and go back to my happy place. Not that I have one - but I try and create it often. Dropped my brother off to the airport today morning, and while I was coming back in the cab to office all choked up and hazy eyed, all I wanted was a hug. A warm, all embracing quiet hug - something to tell me that it's gonna be alright. Wishful thinking I guess.

Sometimes I ask myself - how hard is it to get a little more attention than I deserve? Is it too much to ask for really? PMSing like crazy today, but then is that a problem I can solve on my own? Not really I guess. How hard is it for someone to put away random ego and attitude and for once show a little love? Am I really asking for too much?

Life hasn't been fair exactly, and it now seems like it never will be. Sometimes I think it's easier for me not to express anything at all. I probably will stay like this forever, deal with my problems on my own, expectations will always be zero and I'll just have to deal with the fact that I will never have anyone to hold on to when things get complicated, that there will never be anyone who will quietly deal with my petty mood swings and just tell me that it's gonna be alright.

So, for now I'm just gonna say - it's always gonna be my problem and not yours!


  1. I have this problem as well, so I can totally relate. I guess this is not just your problem but my problem, too! I actually started to cry the other day because the only thing I wanted (but didn't get) was a damn hug.

    I'm usually not like this normally, but there are certain times when I just wish someone would pay some quality attention to me. It seems as though the moments I need it the most, no one is there to give it.

    I hope you are doing better! *Hugs*

  2. OMG! woman where have you been?

    Thanks for the * hugs * really need 'em :)

  3. The much needed *Applause* also coming your way and a standing ovation for a truly beautiful post. Love it ... feels like my life.

  4. @K: haha
    @U: he actually did it!