If everything happens for a reason, then maybe we should take each passing day as a piece of a big unfinished jigsaw puzzle. All we have to do is string all the pieces together to build the bigger picture. But what if the bigger picture holds absolute mess and chaos? You would know it is coming right?
When you start collecting the smaller pieces you would know what really is eventually headed your way. The question is—should you anyway go ahead and put the messy pieces together or should you hide some of the pieces away to thwart the messy meteor about to crash on you.
It’s not really a matter of choice here. It’s a matter of desperation and how far you are willing to risk to paint a whole new picture for yourself. How many pieces can you hide? How many new pieces can you build to fill the gaps? Will it lead to a butterfly effect? Or will it heal on its own and fit right in-- A round peg in a round hole? Fantastic!!
… Too many questions on my mind right now…maybe this is what leads to insomnia…
Ignorance IS bliss sometimes, the lesser you foresee the easier it is to go through each day. And when the final masterpiece is complete, you just take the blow—ready or not! You don’t have to die each passing day in anticipation and fear.
You may regret, but that is nothing in comparison to the feeling of incompetence.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
... UnAnswered!!
Unconditional Love! Is it really forever. The Question has haunted me for a long time. Sure I understand how two people meet, fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together... and so on. But What happens when you meet, fall in love-- but don't spend the rest of your lives together?? This is the question that we all want answers to.. in other words.. "what if it doesnt work out?"
What does this phrase really mean? What if What doesn't work out. What is the end result that we are trying to achieve by trying to work something out. Is the purpose of a relationship not to spend quality time with your partner, and be able to talk about anything and everything under the sun? Is the purpose as simple as getting married and having kids? Is that what we are all trying to achieve? *SHUDDER*
If things DON'T work out and you DON'T end up having babies in a beautiful big home, Does your love not work out? What happens then? You completely ignore the existance of the other person and go ahead and make babies with someone else! But is it really that easy to get over someone or to forget someone? Sure, time heals all. But what does it heal, if there is nothing to heal. There was nothing wrong with your relationship, everything was fine. Then what is there to heal? The fact remains that you spent an awesome number of years with someone and then you split up and did not have kids with him. What do you heal here? My question here is -- Is Love a simple transaction? or is it really a deep feeling. If it is the latter, then you can't really move on with your life Can you?
You may get married to someone and have kids with someone, but you will continue to love the person with whom things did not work out. That is just messed up right? Ok, then let me ask.. what about one-sided love? I recently heard a story wherein a lover came back into a grown woman's life once again after 30 odd years only to be dumped again! That was harsh! Why did this even happen? There was no relationship to brood on, the woman had denied him 30 years back and she did the same thing today, then why was the lover still in Love? Maybe he was just in love with the idea of love, or maybe not. Its too confusing to think about it.
While I am on the question spree, I am bouncing one more.. What is happily ever after? Is it ten years really? I think its only ten years into marriage when you still feel connected to your spouse, you just about had children and they are young, cute and adorable. Your spouse still remembers your birthdays and gets you stuff and not to mention the sex is good. What happens after ten years of marriage can NOT be described as happily ever after. With the kids screaming and bills piling up, not to mention you now suffer from low blood pressure and your spouse from high blood pressure. You come home to discipline your maid and to make sure kids are studying. At night you sleep beside your spouse almost like a life-less pillow and in the morning fight with him on trivial issues. Which part of this was happily ever after again??
Anyway, enough questions for the day. If I continue at this rate, I might never reach that stage :P
What does this phrase really mean? What if What doesn't work out. What is the end result that we are trying to achieve by trying to work something out. Is the purpose of a relationship not to spend quality time with your partner, and be able to talk about anything and everything under the sun? Is the purpose as simple as getting married and having kids? Is that what we are all trying to achieve? *SHUDDER*
If things DON'T work out and you DON'T end up having babies in a beautiful big home, Does your love not work out? What happens then? You completely ignore the existance of the other person and go ahead and make babies with someone else! But is it really that easy to get over someone or to forget someone? Sure, time heals all. But what does it heal, if there is nothing to heal. There was nothing wrong with your relationship, everything was fine. Then what is there to heal? The fact remains that you spent an awesome number of years with someone and then you split up and did not have kids with him. What do you heal here? My question here is -- Is Love a simple transaction? or is it really a deep feeling. If it is the latter, then you can't really move on with your life Can you?
You may get married to someone and have kids with someone, but you will continue to love the person with whom things did not work out. That is just messed up right? Ok, then let me ask.. what about one-sided love? I recently heard a story wherein a lover came back into a grown woman's life once again after 30 odd years only to be dumped again! That was harsh! Why did this even happen? There was no relationship to brood on, the woman had denied him 30 years back and she did the same thing today, then why was the lover still in Love? Maybe he was just in love with the idea of love, or maybe not. Its too confusing to think about it.
While I am on the question spree, I am bouncing one more.. What is happily ever after? Is it ten years really? I think its only ten years into marriage when you still feel connected to your spouse, you just about had children and they are young, cute and adorable. Your spouse still remembers your birthdays and gets you stuff and not to mention the sex is good. What happens after ten years of marriage can NOT be described as happily ever after. With the kids screaming and bills piling up, not to mention you now suffer from low blood pressure and your spouse from high blood pressure. You come home to discipline your maid and to make sure kids are studying. At night you sleep beside your spouse almost like a life-less pillow and in the morning fight with him on trivial issues. Which part of this was happily ever after again??
Anyway, enough questions for the day. If I continue at this rate, I might never reach that stage :P
Post-Marriage Syndrome!
I have realized that marriage is almost synonymous with growing out of your teens. Remember the time when you turned 20 one day and opened your box of old stuff. You just sat there laughing at the clothes, shoes and pictures of your 16-something days and thought to yourself, "what the hell was I thinking"!! But you know well that you might give your arm and leg to turn back time and go back to those carefree days of fun and frolic. Well, the same goes with marriage.
Before getting married you live in this crappy apartment with clothes lying all around you, surviving on mostly junk food and throwing random parties- waking up in the morning-afters and finding your house a mess, watching crappy soaps with a warm cup of coffee and fried food and aimlessly lying around the house on long weekend mornings. Life was Fun for sure. But Life sure does change after marriage (especially when you get the happy married woman syndrome).
Suddenly everything that you did in your pre-married life becomes miniscule, and blissfully careless.
You tend to ridicule your smaller rooms as a singleton and your small apartment which at one point of time seemed nice and cozy now seem like pigeon-holes. Suddenly matching curtains and sofa-sets are of huge eminence to you over every other possible thing and you fail to realize how your single friends are still living in such a mess with unco-ordinated pillow covers!
Knock-in the head number two should come once you realize that you are using the food processor way to often. By that I mean almost, every day. Thinking about the days when you just had a cup of cofee and maggi makes you shudder and think how could you have led such a risky life. Roti, paratha and dal have become common house-hold chores every day, and your body has stopped responding to words like: "lets skip dinner and have toasted bread with cheese". You have obviously by now started pittyfully looking at your single friends and thinking, how are they even living such a life, and you are thankful and grateful for each and every loving moment spent in your beautiful home with your adorable husband.
When you are single, the only thing that matches are your clothes, and when your married that list is long. Cutlery, Curtain, Cushions and more! You long to hear the "Honey Im home" and you quickly get warm food on the table and relish every bit of life when your husband looks at you and says, "this tastes amazing".
You despised this life once but now that you are a part of it, you are loving it. If you have come this far then there is no cure for you. You are the married woman of the century and there is no stopping you! You have started giving cooties to your single friends who aww you every minute and get aww-ed back.
But to us single people, every day brings newer crappier things to think about. We might not have the color coordinated bed sheets to keep us smiling but we do have one thing that we all end up missing eventually!
F.R.E.E.D.O.M!!!
Before getting married you live in this crappy apartment with clothes lying all around you, surviving on mostly junk food and throwing random parties- waking up in the morning-afters and finding your house a mess, watching crappy soaps with a warm cup of coffee and fried food and aimlessly lying around the house on long weekend mornings. Life was Fun for sure. But Life sure does change after marriage (especially when you get the happy married woman syndrome).
Suddenly everything that you did in your pre-married life becomes miniscule, and blissfully careless.
You tend to ridicule your smaller rooms as a singleton and your small apartment which at one point of time seemed nice and cozy now seem like pigeon-holes. Suddenly matching curtains and sofa-sets are of huge eminence to you over every other possible thing and you fail to realize how your single friends are still living in such a mess with unco-ordinated pillow covers!
Knock-in the head number two should come once you realize that you are using the food processor way to often. By that I mean almost, every day. Thinking about the days when you just had a cup of cofee and maggi makes you shudder and think how could you have led such a risky life. Roti, paratha and dal have become common house-hold chores every day, and your body has stopped responding to words like: "lets skip dinner and have toasted bread with cheese". You have obviously by now started pittyfully looking at your single friends and thinking, how are they even living such a life, and you are thankful and grateful for each and every loving moment spent in your beautiful home with your adorable husband.
When you are single, the only thing that matches are your clothes, and when your married that list is long. Cutlery, Curtain, Cushions and more! You long to hear the "Honey Im home" and you quickly get warm food on the table and relish every bit of life when your husband looks at you and says, "this tastes amazing".
You despised this life once but now that you are a part of it, you are loving it. If you have come this far then there is no cure for you. You are the married woman of the century and there is no stopping you! You have started giving cooties to your single friends who aww you every minute and get aww-ed back.
But to us single people, every day brings newer crappier things to think about. We might not have the color coordinated bed sheets to keep us smiling but we do have one thing that we all end up missing eventually!
F.R.E.E.D.O.M!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
One Way Ticket to Bored'Ville
The more I think about it, the more bored of the situation I tend to get. It is almost like a poisonous vine that is strangling me to brain-deadness. It is impossible to break out of this maddening sphere of boredom that has taken control over my life, my thoughts and my actions.
All I want to do right now is to find a mature solution to this problem. I want to understand the root cause of this phenomenon and uproot the bloody thing. But the problem seems to have gone deeper than the root, it's almost like the never-ending rabbit hole. Where do I stop analyzing and start the restoration process? I realized that I have been working at the same thing for a long time. I am analyzing accounts and running reports for too long. This continuous vicious cycle has led to mechanical symptoms in my brain and now it just refuses to act human-like. For everything I have a graph and for everything I calculate a return on Investment :O
I tried digging deeper! Am I bored of only my job? or am I bored in general? am i bored of the city? or am I bored of seeing myself like this? Playing farmville on facebook cheered me up a little, I grew some crops and got some cattle and livestock! It got me thinking as to how much bored I must be to be growing virtual rice and wheat and petting and milking cows that say Moo every 5 seconds.
I realized there is a saturation point that comes in every relationship! I have reached mine: Enough of this city, this job and this sucky life! I am going back to a more happening life!! I am considering moving back to my own roots to solve the root problem of this disastrous stagnant feeling!
Wish me luck people! :)
All I want to do right now is to find a mature solution to this problem. I want to understand the root cause of this phenomenon and uproot the bloody thing. But the problem seems to have gone deeper than the root, it's almost like the never-ending rabbit hole. Where do I stop analyzing and start the restoration process? I realized that I have been working at the same thing for a long time. I am analyzing accounts and running reports for too long. This continuous vicious cycle has led to mechanical symptoms in my brain and now it just refuses to act human-like. For everything I have a graph and for everything I calculate a return on Investment :O
I tried digging deeper! Am I bored of only my job? or am I bored in general? am i bored of the city? or am I bored of seeing myself like this? Playing farmville on facebook cheered me up a little, I grew some crops and got some cattle and livestock! It got me thinking as to how much bored I must be to be growing virtual rice and wheat and petting and milking cows that say Moo every 5 seconds.
I realized there is a saturation point that comes in every relationship! I have reached mine: Enough of this city, this job and this sucky life! I am going back to a more happening life!! I am considering moving back to my own roots to solve the root problem of this disastrous stagnant feeling!
Wish me luck people! :)
Monday, July 13, 2009
The Sandwich We didn't Order!
The following post is meant for people who are sandwich children. You know,
you come third or fourth in line after all your cousins/sisters.
You are not the mature and beautiful first child of the great Indian joint family, you are not even the subtle yet intelligent second one, nor are you the adorable last one.
You are maybe the insignificant third one or the irritating attention seeking fourth one.Sighh! I understand your pain. But if you are still in your teens, let me remind you that the lesser you are cared for, the more chances there are of you evolving in to the sexy swan (not beautiful, your face may not change!).
Coming back to the story, the third or the fourth sibling is like the most
unnoticeable child in the family. Elders don't find you as cute as the youngest one,
they don't find you growing up and maturing into a lady as fast as the eldest one is.
They cant even compare you to the second one, cos they are busy comparing the second one with the first one. So there you are, stuck in between odd worlds, thinking to yourself what can I do to get in to the lime-light. You may try your hand at a few odd jobs here and there as well... Try topping your class, but the second one will top first, so by the time, you topped, it will become insignificant. You can try lying vigorously and profusely, but the cute-lying spree of the younger one catches attention of elders, and your lying spree would be tagged as a serious 'pree-teen' problem. You may try fake boyfriends, and guess what ....by then the first one will get ENGAGED!
Does this ever stop, the vicious cycle!!!??!!
Turns out it does! It does have an end... you just have to wait for it. Wait for the ones before you to get married,
and suddenly, almost magically the spotlight shifts focus on you! Yes you my friend! Suddenly people are interested in your
personal life. Suddenly they wanna 'know more'. Since the ones ahead of you are getting married off, they have no one else
to talk about anymore... you are logically next in line, so you are standing right there, in their face!
But trust me, all these years of attention craving, and troubled teens will fade away, and soon you will start regretting the fact
that you are not the insignificant dot in the family picture any more. They will get on your case, they will hunt you down! Aunts and Uncles
of all generations will gather around you and start telling you the importance of marriage and make uncomfortable adult jokes around you which you
do not want to be a part of. But this is what you wanted right! to be a part of the 'circle'. But you realize the crappy mess inside the circle once you
are in the circle, and once you are in the circle, ITS too late!
And as you glance back at the first two... they will just smile and say: its your turn Sista!! Gotcha ;P
you come third or fourth in line after all your cousins/sisters.
You are not the mature and beautiful first child of the great Indian joint family, you are not even the subtle yet intelligent second one, nor are you the adorable last one.
You are maybe the insignificant third one or the irritating attention seeking fourth one.Sighh! I understand your pain. But if you are still in your teens, let me remind you that the lesser you are cared for, the more chances there are of you evolving in to the sexy swan (not beautiful, your face may not change!).
Coming back to the story, the third or the fourth sibling is like the most
unnoticeable child in the family. Elders don't find you as cute as the youngest one,
they don't find you growing up and maturing into a lady as fast as the eldest one is.
They cant even compare you to the second one, cos they are busy comparing the second one with the first one. So there you are, stuck in between odd worlds, thinking to yourself what can I do to get in to the lime-light. You may try your hand at a few odd jobs here and there as well... Try topping your class, but the second one will top first, so by the time, you topped, it will become insignificant. You can try lying vigorously and profusely, but the cute-lying spree of the younger one catches attention of elders, and your lying spree would be tagged as a serious 'pree-teen' problem. You may try fake boyfriends, and guess what ....by then the first one will get ENGAGED!
Does this ever stop, the vicious cycle!!!??!!
Turns out it does! It does have an end... you just have to wait for it. Wait for the ones before you to get married,
and suddenly, almost magically the spotlight shifts focus on you! Yes you my friend! Suddenly people are interested in your
personal life. Suddenly they wanna 'know more'. Since the ones ahead of you are getting married off, they have no one else
to talk about anymore... you are logically next in line, so you are standing right there, in their face!
But trust me, all these years of attention craving, and troubled teens will fade away, and soon you will start regretting the fact
that you are not the insignificant dot in the family picture any more. They will get on your case, they will hunt you down! Aunts and Uncles
of all generations will gather around you and start telling you the importance of marriage and make uncomfortable adult jokes around you which you
do not want to be a part of. But this is what you wanted right! to be a part of the 'circle'. But you realize the crappy mess inside the circle once you
are in the circle, and once you are in the circle, ITS too late!
And as you glance back at the first two... they will just smile and say: its your turn Sista!! Gotcha ;P
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