What is it that makes us want to do more? Separates us from the easygoers? Why are we constantly searching for something exciting and, the exciting gets boring the moment we experience it? Why do we envy the silliest things? Part of the questions are answered but parts remain foggy. Like the Delhi cold that everyone has been raving about. I remember a time I used to curse every morning and cry myself to sleep (no seriously cry). I hate cold. And now, I miss it for some weird reason. So weird. My brain, the paradox loves playing these unscientific bizarre-ass games. You hate cold, you loathe cold, aww you miss cold, no you hate cold, I miss boots and sweaters. Slap!
See how I got into a serious mode at the beginning of this post and then went on to write about my silly little problems! I could have easily delved deep into the functioning of human psyche and reached some half-baked analysis which might have sounded like me wearing glasses and writing on a table top with a feathery pen with a pensive look on my face. But no I chose to remain petty. The deal is: I want petty now. But then I also want flying ponies. The point is pointless and my brain plays rude games. Who the hell are you standing beside me eating a coconut out of a giant bagel?
I thought I was dreaming. I was dreaming of a giant bagel with coconut inside it and then I saw this "me" looking person eating it. And I know that "me" was hating it. But eating it nonetheless. Do dreams mean shit?
I went for reflexology, thinking I'll get a relaxing time-out pamper me time. But what I got was 20 mins of pure pain. The 65 year old therapist wasn't easy on me at all. Not only did he point out that I will be fatter than a cow in no time, he also kept shouting at me for being being a sissy and not sitting straight (and trying to run away from therapy). Through the session of what can be summed up as "no uncle, please" and "stop it, sit straight" the words that I remember the most - "so young and you can't sleep. So sad." The 70 year old man sitting next to me was doing some ninja leg exercise and laughing at me. He said.. can you bend your legs like this?? My reaction was .. well..
Anyway, coming back to the real outcome of the coconut-bagel eating, brain puzzling, self-discovery story.... In a far away land, as I sat writing this one 'note-to-self' it read - must - clear -clutter. I'll stick it on to my desk. I'll write it out in my heart and say it loud even.
Must. Clear. Clutter