Thursday, January 31, 2013

Does it bother you?

That bestie becomes beastie with auto-correct on your dumb smartphone. That you gain the most calories from your most favorite dishes. That you are fatter than all your friends. That you are working at a job that requires you to stand in a hole and keep digging it bigger. That your life sucks more than the black hole. That you are not a millionaire. That your whole life is a not a tireless journey in search of truth & enlightenment but a tireless journey seeking more money and more power. That you only talk about changing the world and fall asleep on your couch while watching the documentary that talks about changing the world. That you haven't done enough for your parents. That you don't have a clear answer to "what are you up to?" That your socks don't match and you always the lose good ones. That at some point in your life you have swam in a pool where some other kid has pee'd. That starbucks has chai tea latte which basically means 'tea tea latte' (which sounds retarded). That you can jiggle your arm fat. That you have given up (mostly) on your dreams. That people eat rabbit meat. That I am writing this in a paragraph and not in bullet points.

If the answer to the above is yes, then you are a human being. And not a floating mummy from outer space. Congratulations. Btw, did you know ancient Incans carried the mummies of their dead kings and paraded them around the city in some sort of wicked celebration. That is hardcore creepster!

#EndlessHumanRant #UntilNextTime


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