Treasure chest of memories Part III

The small puddle of memory that I splashed around today was primarily the one about my happy place. Probably because I’ve been having a very bad day and I had to escape into that zone where I can comfortably cocoon up. I read this interview of JK Rowling, where she said that magic would always remain a prominent part of our growing up and also of our adult lives. There is no connect with religion here, and it’s not about religion at all. It’s about having some kind of power that helps you be in control of a situation. That’s something we rarely get right? When do we ever have any kind of power to change something that’s going haywire? Magic lets you do things that put you back on the leader-board. So, I wander into that rabbit hole of memory where I am in power. There was this old trunk in the attic inside my aunt’s workshop, which always intrigued me. Never knew what was in there but I liked making up stories about it. I would dress up in my mom’s cotton saree that smelled like jasmine (thanks to the odd amount of starch she used to put in them) and then put on some lipstick, wear some of her fake jewelry and then go up to the roof. I’d then pretend to be the owner of this magic shop where I can conjure magical things that would come out that rusty old trunk and sell them off to my imaginary shoppers. They would come pouring in, one after the other looking for odd things like the horse-hoof lake, the needle through which you can spin of threads of golden fleece and the owl’s feather which helps put people go off to sleep whenever they want to. In exchange I’d take kittens from them, or pickles or ice cream on stick – mainly because I was forbidden to touch these items otherwise. Coming back to the magic trunk – the rusty dusty one was kept in that room for a long time, sometimes covered with cloth, sometimes with things my aunt would make like rugs or tapestry or curtains. I never got to know what was inside but I bet there were things that were wonderful and kind of magical. The summer afternoons were well spent I think, in bargaining with my customers and reviving the barter system: and sometimes they gave me an extra something if they were happy with the products I offered them.  Some day when I own a house of my own, I’ll keep a trunk just like that (not so dirty though) and right by the foot of my bed. I have a feeling I’ll dream of calmer things if I had my happy place right inside my room.

This feeling I almost can't describe...

Insipid, yet volatile.

As I ransacked the place with my eyes & mind

Droplets of memories trickled down me

Insipid, yet volatile 

This place now I can describe

This feeling now, I can accept.

Insipid, yet volatile.

I opened the door finally ...

Only to disappoint myself, and then to smile at my own juvenile attempt.

Nope : can't see what I am looking for, but can't wait either.

Letting it all out....& Moving on.

I've been trying to write for a long time now, but haven't been able to. Words fall short at times when you know that whatever is happening around you is far more bigger and complex than you ever thought it could be. I've had a rough last week no doubt, but there are some people for whom the last week has been   life changing. And, no, not in a positive way.

I've seen the two most strongest people I know break down and cry. The two people who were positive, headstrong and hellbent on getting things better. When someone close to you is suffering, you want to do everything in your capacity and even beyond that to help that person. And sometimes, when you know that nothing can be done: you give in to fate. But, not these two. For months I've seen them fighting for her, praying for her and taking care of her. That someone who is probably one of the most talented, creative and magnetic people who we have come to know in our short lives. My grandfather used to say, that God needs good people to be around Him all the time, which is why He calls upon those first who are the most wonderful people. It's unfair to us though, when someone so young, energetic, so full of life, leaves us behind, but maybe God needs them more than we do. Although they leave us behind, and while they might not be with us in body - but in love and spirit they always remain with us. No one can take away those years of love, and cherished moments.

I've been trying to keep my mind off a lot of things for the past week. Batman will be leaving office soon and yes I am trying to be as supportive as I can be. It's for the good no doubt and opens a whole new world of opportunities for him where I am more than certain he will shine. He's going to a great company at a really nice profile plus pay, which is great; but at the same time I am getting these butterflies in my stomach (not the nice ones) everytime I think he wont be around in office anymore everytime I feel the urge to rant or crib or just simply walk up to his desk and smile. The smoke breaks won't be the same for sure without our usual suspects. PG is already working in the next building and lets face it PG planning a smoke break after lunch at 9 am in the morning isn't really fun, and definitely not as exciting as dragging someone off their desk to tell them something which just cannot wait. So, yeah.. it's just gonna be V & R around now- and thank God for that, otherwise I would have lost my sanity. I'm still keeping it very cool in front of Batman so that he doesnt melt down at the last moment and start hugging his laptop and running around the office TT table. I'm telling myself - this change is probably for the best and yes, no doubt the next turn is full of surprises but I am counting on all good ones.

On another note - there is some thing that I wish I could say to someone I know. I have been listening to her for some time now, and trying to reason and reflect and at least identify with her problems... but it just seems so unrealistically foolish that I am not able to grope with it. It could be a simple case of utter chaos & confusion mixed with some extra dosage of destructive love - but still not justified enough. Think about it this way - If he loves you, he'll let you be, he'll let you be happy. If you think you will be happy with him in the long run then maybe you would not be talking about the smaller issues all the time.. it's always the smaller issues that snowball into the atom bomb as the years pass by. And finally, if he hits you - it's over. You just call it quits. If you are a self-respecting woman who has some sense, and any love left for yourself as a person, as a daughter, as a sister or simply as YOU - there is no way you can let him disrespect you. Whatever the reason is. Everytime a disaster happens in your relationship and you end up in a volcanic fight - ask yourself, is the person bigger than the fight? If the answer is no - then it's not worth it sweetheart. Move on and get a reality check.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is - life throws these hurdles in our faces and bashes us up - but we gotta pick up and move on. That's all for now. Will be back soon with more mid-week crisis stories 'cos I am sure a couple are boiling for me right across the corner.

A Boundless Moment

"We stood a moment so in a strange world,
Myself as one his own pretense deceives;
And then I said the truth (and we moved on).
A young beech clinging to its last year's leaves."

                                                                 -- Robert Frost.

2012 Drool list!

So, the year is off to a cruel cold start, and I'm in the turtle mode as of now. I'm cooking only once in two weeks or so, and that too concentrating only on desserts and stuff, I'm washing my hair less regularly and coming to work like a polar bear with 6 layers of clothing. I'm highly unpleasant and cranky most mornings and a crybaby on most nights. So, now that I have established the unpleasantness of the situation, I am attempting to cheer myself up by thinking about the good things that are about to happen this year.


Numero Uno - The winters are about to end. SOON. * would do a double jump and cartwheel if I could*


The rest of the awesomeness that's about to follow -


"The Dark Knight Rises" - the one that we have been anticipating for the longest time is going to release this year (fingers crossed) and it's gonna be soooo good.


Among other things, I now own a Galaxy nexus phone, courtesy office holiday gift, which kicks ass! Ice cream sandwhich is bringing in a lot of happiness and is slowing down work for me thanks to a hundred million games that I downloaded. Can't emphasize this enough but I love Google. Yeah! I own three smartphones now :P


Another thing which is buzzworthy and is causing a rumors in bucket-loads, this year is  (if at all launched) - Canon EDS 5D Mark III -- "Canon has confirmed that it is working on a brand new full-frame DSLR." This will be brilliant no doubt.


Mini-coooooooopers! I can't wait to spot them on the roads soon and wave like a maniac and throw a bunch of flying kisses at them. 


So, yeah.. hopefully I'll find more good things to watch out for and keep myself entertained and less grouchy through the year.


Cheers!