Randomness is my new favorite word. A friend of mine told me that he likes the randomness in my articles. I had the infinite urge to tell him that random blabberings are the inner core of my writings that keeps the ‘engine’ oiled up and spinning. If I am detached from it or deliberately given an article to write I form an instant writer’s block and recoil to a more traditional method of calculative narrative. A piece of my own thought and authenticity will but obviously be missing from it. But my true self and my real words somehow seem to come out only with random unattached thought. To quote a line from a book I am reading nowadays- ‘I am interested in everything and committed to nothing’ – this has stuck to me like a blood sucking leech. In it I find resemblance, and uncanny familiarity. Maybe my lack of commitment to topics has kept me at bay from writing on serious issues, and my interest in almost everything still keeps me going -- still somewhat sluggishly. I call it my comfort zone, my personalized creative outlet, where I write mostly to let go, than for the sake of preservation or commemoration.
This inertia of comfort and rest that I have developed is difficult to nudge and makes it impossible to pick up the pace. Although I do have the desire of writing a ‘Once upon a time story’… using the stock phrase to create yet another classic! But the desire is less frequent and is overwhelmingly subdued by the desire to write for the moment, for the feel and more for the necessity to vent out.
Maybe someday, when I am ready to comment more and observe less, and when I finally channel my thoughts to another outlet, I will find the peace and persistence to write for the sake of creation and for the sake of happiness. Till then, Randomness it is! Amen!
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