Fleeting thoughts

"Within this restless, hurried, modern world
We took our hearts' full pleasure - You and I,
And now the white sails of our ship are furled,
And spent the lading of our argosy."

--Oscar Wilde

I left my heart in your paradise.

Never ending ways meandering into oblivious nothings,

When I looked you in the eye it was dark & you were bright.

The colors deeply embedded in my soul, and your radiant soul colored my eyes again.

The feeling of never coming back. Calling me out again. And again.

I left my heart in your paradise, keep it warm & I'll come back & claim it. When the time is right.

Break-time, food & friends.

Last two weeks have been nothing less than a train wreck. (Ok - I am not taking the mad drunk Friday into consideration, 'cos I don't remember that night too well).

All I remember doing was: working, coming back home, watching tv and sleeping like Rip Van Winkle whenever I got the chance. The long weekend that just went by gave me the chance, motivation kick-in-the-ass to get up and do something more constructive. And what's more constructive than making lovely 'ghar ka khaana'. I've been craving for some Kolkata food for some time and I decided to make some mutton curry. Well, roony played a huge role in this as well, 'cos she actually went out and bought a pressurecooker+mutton+beer (sheer awesomeness). Anyway, so I attempted a mutton rezala for the first time ever (I was missing a few ingredients). Turned out to be one of the best Saturdays ever! What more do you need when you have mutton rezala and beer stacked up in the fridge!

On another note, one of my oldest and bestest gal pals is coming over to Delhi tomorrow from bom bom bombay! We'll be heading to Rajasthan for 5 days of sheer indulgence, luxury and hopefully an awesome road trip. Batman & his best boy will be there too and I'm hoping this is going to be THE break i've been craving for the longest time. I've been a booking ninja & scoured through tons and tons of deal sites (there are far too many) to find the perfect place to stay. A pool was a must, a room with a view and economical YES. Done deal. Needless to say, my Precious will be traveling with me and taking some amazing shots of Rajasthan.

Here's to good times & good friends!

Cheers.

I want my food back.

I wish I had more shukto when I had the chance. More chingri & more posto. There was a time when I used to make faces at them, actually any form of home cooked food was a complete turn off. I remember thinking how awesome it would be if I could eat out every day. Have something new everyday, try a new restaurant every night. It's true, be careful what you wish for. Ergo, one day you will be sitting in a far away land, eating out every night and all you would crave for is home cooked daal-chawal. I don't know if its the distance from home (read homesick) or the fact that kolkata truly has the most amazing food/street food/cuisine EVER, or the law of diminishing utility - but there are times when I would give my left arm to eat proper laal shaak (red spinach) with some begun bhaja. I realize that this post is sounding borderline whiny now, but it's just one of those days when you realize the importance of what you had.. but you were too stuck up to acknowledge it.  Come back to me chingrimaacher malaikariiii... come back.

Fool's Gold: The perfect calculation.

Stuck in a whirlwind of calculations always. Simplicity went out for lunch and never came back. It's all about  these unbelievably complicated calculations nowadays. Working isn't enough, you have to work smart, suck up, pay extra attention to detail and cover up for stuff. Loving isn't enough, you have to prove it, spell it out, shower it even and when things get nasty you have to pick the pieces. Calculating, anticipating always - what's your next move champ? what are you gonna do. So this woman you see everyday in office is the biggest hotshot around, has a family: two kids and married to a "hotshot", has one of the most important profiles in the company and all this by 35. Calculating.... well that means she's completed her education on time, got an awesome job on time, calculated her jumps and shifted profiles at the right time, had the time to fall in love and get married plus have her first child before 30. Well, sounds almost too good to be true. But, calculations you see - that's the only way you will have answers. What if I am calculating at the pace of X and people around me are at the pace of 3X? What if all I need is to understand the pace, and I'm too caught up with instincts to get it in time. Every time. In my head, its like this you see - I think I'm not overly ambitious, but in reality I am. In totality, I am someone who is always behind, always held behind and always two steps away 'cos maybe I am too distracted, or maybe there are too many people I care about looking for other things out of me. Or maybe I am just looking for a kick-start and calculations will follow. The problem is, I've always sucked at math and I don't see a way my instincts will ever take a back seat. I will always say what's on my mind first before thinking it through, I will always generalize things and I will always be distracted & detached. It's like a vicious cycle now, stuck in a whirlwind of calculations always, yet always acting on instinct.