Sometimes, I am more frustrated with myself more than anything else. It's unnerving to see myself sulking over things that could have been easily taken care of. The art of communicating openly is definitely not my forte, and as the years pass by, I have realized that I am becoming more and more of a quiet person. Quiet with feelings, decisions and contemplations. While to some this might actually work, for me, the seclusion seems to be one of those rare double edged sword sorta things. Sometimes I wonder how it would have been if I was able to openly voice all the drama inside my head!? How much would it be appreciated/rejected/ridiculed!
But I wish, I really wish that sometimes I would be able to say the right things at the right time. The most heartbreaking thing for me has to be an act of selfishness. When I see that, it makes me furious - more at myself for not telling the person 'u know what, ur being extremely selfish right now'. I wish I could most times. In stead, I quietly choose to sulk or avoid. After a point avoiding becomes pointless I guess and then communication becomes necessary. I am too late for that too. Mostly. So the moment passes. I wish I didn't have to write a post everytime this happens. I wish I could say it out loud sometimes. I am still waiting for that aha moment I guess.. when I finally decide how much is too much and shed all inhibitions of cordial proper conduct and say just what's exactly on my mind.. you know what I mean?! Of course you don't... so I guess this was all a moo point!
But I wish, I really wish that sometimes I would be able to say the right things at the right time. The most heartbreaking thing for me has to be an act of selfishness. When I see that, it makes me furious - more at myself for not telling the person 'u know what, ur being extremely selfish right now'. I wish I could most times. In stead, I quietly choose to sulk or avoid. After a point avoiding becomes pointless I guess and then communication becomes necessary. I am too late for that too. Mostly. So the moment passes. I wish I didn't have to write a post everytime this happens. I wish I could say it out loud sometimes. I am still waiting for that aha moment I guess.. when I finally decide how much is too much and shed all inhibitions of cordial proper conduct and say just what's exactly on my mind.. you know what I mean?! Of course you don't... so I guess this was all a moo point!
The more you keep it bottled inside the worse the explosion becomes when finally you decide it's time. Don't let it get to that stage - you're better than that!
ReplyDeleteyou are an honest person... remain like this please.... such persons are now an endangered species :)
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Sometimes I wonder how it would have been if I was able to openly voice all the drama inside my head!? How much would it be appreciated/rejected/ridiculed!
ReplyDeleteuntil u actually give it a try, u ll keep on wondering.. just do it once and see by yourself :):)
It's okay you are just being you know you. I am like that too very direct at times but sometimes I just learn to shut up! I am back on blogging again check it out in oct/nov posts!
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