Stop Looking at Me!

There is a better way of looking at everything!

Really? Now why would you burst my bubble like that? I have spent 1 zillion hours and 5 thousand days playing dress up with my life, and this is the best that I can do. After giving myself so much attention you still tell me that there is a better way of doing it!

You are a very strange entity- You! A giant glob of everything that's better than me! A society of critics, a herd of pragmatists, some bits and pieces of old school and also a secret society of rebels. Every time and every where you remind me to be better at being myself, and yes I despise you for that. You tell me that I am an underachiever when I walk past you in a glittering magazine store- shining proudly on the covers of 'Success'; you tell me my hair is funny when I happen to fumble on to the late night infomercials for beautiful women, you also tell me that I am not a dreamer when you point me towards the ambitious crowd in the room. You have pushed me all my life, and told me always that there is a better me out there.

I once read that "the world looks dark through a pair of Rayban.." but what happens if the world is wearing the pair?? They all look at me with their own colors- and expect me to act that color! For a long time I have tried to be a better me, to do things the better way.. but now it seems like a never ending race with time. I have lost the reason, motivation and inclination to do better. I am slowly reconciling with myself being best at what I am.

This will always be the best way for me to do things. This is how I will be, no matter what You say or do. I am putting my foot down and falling into the arms of Morpheus. From now, I will be peaceful, declare truce and will never spend another night thinking of what I could have done better.............so, stop looking at me!