Heartbreak Warfare [Storytellers - VH1] ***

"You've got to be able to explain things to yourself when the lights go off.."

This is exactly what I wanted to hear right now, there is nothing wrong in being inspired by things you find awesome, and I love this song exactly for that.

Really, what I truly want is to be able to have a conversation with myself when I finally call it a day and just retrospect. How many times do we go to bed with that uneasy feeling, like that constant gnawing? We never win these wars do we? No one ever wins..................in heartbreak warfare.

Stop Looking at Me!

There is a better way of looking at everything!

Really? Now why would you burst my bubble like that? I have spent 1 zillion hours and 5 thousand days playing dress up with my life, and this is the best that I can do. After giving myself so much attention you still tell me that there is a better way of doing it!

You are a very strange entity- You! A giant glob of everything that's better than me! A society of critics, a herd of pragmatists, some bits and pieces of old school and also a secret society of rebels. Every time and every where you remind me to be better at being myself, and yes I despise you for that. You tell me that I am an underachiever when I walk past you in a glittering magazine store- shining proudly on the covers of 'Success'; you tell me my hair is funny when I happen to fumble on to the late night infomercials for beautiful women, you also tell me that I am not a dreamer when you point me towards the ambitious crowd in the room. You have pushed me all my life, and told me always that there is a better me out there.

I once read that "the world looks dark through a pair of Rayban.." but what happens if the world is wearing the pair?? They all look at me with their own colors- and expect me to act that color! For a long time I have tried to be a better me, to do things the better way.. but now it seems like a never ending race with time. I have lost the reason, motivation and inclination to do better. I am slowly reconciling with myself being best at what I am.

This will always be the best way for me to do things. This is how I will be, no matter what You say or do. I am putting my foot down and falling into the arms of Morpheus. From now, I will be peaceful, declare truce and will never spend another night thinking of what I could have done better.............so, stop looking at me!

Sack Race!

Yes! Being silly at times help. When I am bored out of wits and wanna do something just for the kicks, and for the 'cheap thrills' -

That is exactly what sack-races provide!

Not exactly sure how jumping inside a stinky sack, trash talking opponents and fumbling/falling and hurting (Read: Bruising) elbow

badly fits into FUN-- but there is something exhilarating in every stupid/childish act that we do.

Just to give you a background behind this floating sack picture- I was in an almost all day training, and call it an irony or whatever, "I was in a training to become a trainer". :|

Just to get out of the mind numbing experience, I sneaked out of the training, while we were switching rooms. Thank God for VC problems :) But the experience was worth it. For the short 2 mins, I behaved like a complete idiot racing against another idiot in the sack race across bays, fell down in the process and trash talked the opponent and blamed my defeat to bystanders who distracted me!

All in a days work!

Sick of being Sick

I hate being sick ( not that anyone likes being sick). But I really really hate it. Especially, when you have no one to crib to, and no one to fetch you stuff! It's highly irritating and I think I have hit rock bottom. Last week I had the bad bad flu, and now this horrid stomach ache- which is literally killing me! Like I'm throwing up 24/7. JUST.NOT.FAIR.

I wish I was at home now, under the warm blanket and Mom would make me her special chicken soup and tuck me in at night!! :'(

Wishful thinking!!!

Addiction 101

How's & Why's of my addicted life!

For the Love of Caffeine- Are you kidding me! By the time you are 25 coffee will be your existential weapon. There is something magical about the first sip of that rich, dark, aromatic fluid that seeps into your soul. This is an addiction that revives me back to social life. I wake up worse than a 70 year old grumpy old woman, and without cofee, I can only imagine how wonderfully dreadful I am to people. I am definitely not a morning person, and to approach me in the morning when I have not had my cup of black coffee is not only risky- but potentially could be your mood spoiler for the day!

Cigerrettes- Well! What can I say! The deadly combination that I am not proud of. But much has been already said about how & where this combination leads to. Nevertheless! It's so effffing good, that I am falling short of words! ( I atually took a break right about now, and came back to finish the post in ten mins).

Sugar-Coated Biscuits - These are the ones that creep up on you silently. You don't realize how much you need them untill you look at the empty packet you just finished, and shamelessly urge for more. My advice would be to stay away from taking the first bite. Once you take the first bite - you are so gone! There is no way you can turn your back or stop munching on these deadly sugar loaded babies! * sob sob *

Hajmola - I know! what was I thinking right! I have nothing to say in my defence. I don't know how I got addicted to these, but I keep a hidden stash - as shameful as that sounds!

Reality TV- As dumb as that sounds! but YES I admit, I am addicted to reality TV. I don't know why, but I get an awesome feeling while watching a bunch of jackasses act like they just ran away from a circus. It gives a meaning and purpose to my life, it makes me stay sane and appreciate my sanity at times. Everytime there is a new reality show on air, I can't help myself falling into the trap and religiously following the moronic episodes of chronic crap.

Never throw Away crap- That is the mantra of my life. While trying to clear out my office drawers (not im not fired) I realized that I have 4 years of utter crap stashed away inside the three not so spacious drawers. Not only do I never claim LTA, the fact is I never tried. Yet, I have religiously stored away each an every boarding pass/ticket print-out/receipts and what not for the last 4 years of my corporate life. I can't begin to tell you how much of junk (which included thousands and zillions of bills, empty gum packets, an old pair of socks, note pads, stickys, markers, print-outs of random things) came out of there. And if you thought I threw them away- my friend- you are wrong. I neatly piled up all the garbage into three bags, and put them back (yes you read correctly) into the three drawers. I am addicted to clutter- and NEVER throw things away!

--

Judge me all you want! but everytime I look around me I see more and more addicted people. Sometimes I feel these addictions are necessary. They make us feel secure in our own skin. Make us calmer & saner in our utterly clumsy & cloudy lives.

Addiction 101

The How's and Why's of my Addicted life!

For the Love of Caffeine- Are you kidding me! By the time you are 25 coffee will be your existential weapon. There is something magical about the first sip of that rich, dark, aromatic fluid that seeps into your soul. This is an addiction that revives me back to social life. I wake up worse than a 70 year old grumpy old woman, and without cofee, I can only imagine how wonderfully dreadful I am to people. I am definitely not a morning person, and to approach me in the morning when I have not had my cup of black coffee is not only risky- but potentially could be your mood spoiler for the day!

Cigerrettes- Well! What can I say! The deadly combination that I am not proud of. But much has been already said about how & where this combination leads to. Nevertheless! It's so effffing good, that I am falling short of words! ( I atually took a break right about now, and came back to finish the post in ten mins).

Sugar-Coated Biscuits - These are the ones that creep up on you silently. You don't realize how much you need them untill you look at the empty packet you just finished, and shamelessly urge for more. My advice would be to stay away from taking the first bite. Once you take the first bite - you are so gone! There is no way you can turn your back or stop munching on these deadly sugar loaded babies! * sob sob *

Hajmola - I know! what was I thinking right! I have nothing to say in my defence. I don't know how I got addicted to these, but I keep a hidden stash - as shameful as that sounds!

Reality TV- YES I admit, I am addicted to reality TV. I don't know why, but I get an awesome feeling while watching a bunch of jackasses act like they just ran away from a circus. It gives a meaning and purpose to my life, it makes me stay sane and appreciate my sanity at times. Everytime there is a new reality show on air, I can't help myself falling into the trap and religiously following the moronic episodes of chronic crap.

Never throw Away crap- That is the mantra of my life. While trying to clear out my office drawers (no im not fired) I realized that I have 4 years of utter crap stashed away inside the three not so spacious drawers. Not only do I never claim LTA, the fact is I never tried. Yet, I have religiously stored away each an every boarding pass/ticket print-out/receipts and what not for the last 4 years of my corporate life. I can't begin to tell you how much of junk (which included thousands and zillions of bills, empty gum packets, an old pair of socks, note pads, stickys, markers, print-outs of random things) came out of there. And if you thought I threw them away- my friend- you are wrong. I neatly piled up all the garbage into three bags, and put them back (yes you read correctly) into the three drawers. I am addicted to clutter- and NEVER throw things away!

--

Judge me all you want! but everytime I look around me I see more and more addicted people. Sometimes I feel these addictions are necessary. They make us feel secure in our own skin. Make us calmer & saner in our utterly clumsy & cloudy lives.

Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma

Singing this All day! :P

The Bermuda Triangle of Relationships!

You know what I am talking about right? When everything new is gone, and all you are left with is habit. And that habit, my friend, is vicious.

This is the Bermuda triangle of all relationships that are based on love, and only love. Love-less relationships are easier to get out of, no worries- and no thoughts on the back-burner. It's the love that causes this insane amount of problem.

When you are in the Bermuda triangle, you will realize that your day to day life will constantly become a haze of blurred mood-swings, with uncontrollable bursts of sudden revelations - that will come with a promise to put back the steering wheel into your hands. But very soon, you will realize that its all a hoax. Not only are you back inside the triangle, you are in too deep. This is the place where all your ideals and values and principles, will disappear. They will disappear and you will have no reason left for your actions.

At this phase you will have no control on your emotions, your actions, and will be the most difficult person to handle. You might even feel like slapping yourself for being the most weakest creature that God has created. But, no matter how hard you fight to get out of this, you won't be able to. You can either be in love and not be happy at the same time, or be happy and never find love.

None of the choices seem to be much alluring, but that's what this is all about. This is what it all comes down to....

One more list!

So, my love for lists continues. Today I am not writing about the more important things in life, but about the most trivial issues that make me what I am. If you are one of those people who never want to be around me, and most definitely never ever want to be 'my friend' -- then this is a list that you should hug and take to bed. So, here goes the top three things that - turn me off/irritate me/piss me off/ make me wanna throw up... etc. You get the drift! ;)

1. Ppl who ryte lyk dis, n think dat dey are xtremely c00L. Not only do I pity you guys, but you don't leave me an option. I Judge you!

2. Butt-cracks. If you are not wearing a t-shirt two sizes too small for you, then you can very well pull it down when you sit. There is no excuse for this one, and if I know YOU, and see your butt-crack- I WILL disown you.

3. Pseudo-Drunks. One advice for you gals-- be subtle! I know you had only one vodka shot, and there is no effing way that you can be drunk after One Vodka shot and by just sniffing other peoples' drinks. So just get over it, you are not fooling anyone. Not me, and not the guy you just gave a lap-dance to!