Romancing the Confusion!

Confusion, Confusion, where art thou?

I'm standing on my fragile, ashen balcony on a listless moonlit night.

Come save me from this flawless marble palace!

I fancy a thunderstorm tonight!

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Everybody is upto something, what am I upto?

The statement inspired me to think beyond the crisp lines of the simple life, and wonder - how are our lives without the occassional ripples of 'un-announced' chaos?.. Dreadfully drab - isn't it?

We crave so much, the dubious 'un-wantedness' of the moment of utter confusion. Sounds like a paradox? Why yes it is!!

Well, what are we- without the sweet confusion? Leading simple robotic lives, walking in and out of everyday chores; succumbing to the peaceful perfection of our daily routine; finding happiness in trivialities of discount shopping and occassional gossip! I have only one word to describe it - 'uneventful'.

It may be difficult to admit our secret desire for the forbidden dark Romeo, but we all know that chaos and disruptions only make us stronger. The centrifugal pull of the 'dark-hole'ish sinister that makes you bend all rules, and jump in blind-folded just to domesticate the gigantic turmoil-- finally acknowledges the strength of your spirit.

The adrenaline rush that engulfs you, and drags you to the point of no return- finally salutes your victory! The Sly Prince of dark drama calls you towards a rocky trail of complexity, which finally quenches your thirst of adventure & your sense of triumph!

We longed for this drama, we longed for this confusion! ---The more the hurdles, the better we establish; as the challenges get higher- our satisfaction reaches it's zenith. We are all waiting to fall into the trap over and over again, just to be rescued again from our mundane existence!

It gives us purpose to Strive, it gives us a direction again--it adds just the right amount of spice & pulls on all the right strings.... Preparing us to tackle the next level of chaos! The next level of romance...

A Treasure Chest Of Memories!

Part of us today is only a reflection of our past. Behind every developed adult personality are influences of certain individuals who have fundamentally added to our principles and values, and in the process, have added an immortal chapter to our lives.

This post is a tribute to one of such intrinsic chapters of my life- that make me what I am today. This post is about my grandfather. He taught me to be compassionate, he taught me to be persistent towards my goals. He taught me to be strong, and over the years he taught me to rely on myself.

When it comes to him, my recollections are as vivid today, as it was 20 years back. It might sound surprising, but when you are able to reminisce something with so much clarity- you should know, this is the phase of your life, when you were impressionable- and when you could retain thoughts and ideas with passion and without stale judgment.

My memories of him circle around his memories. He effortlessly passed on his childhood memories to me, and I made them my very own. Stunning visuals and extravagant imagery of Pre-independence India- - the majestic villa with acres of land spreading as far as your eyes take you, the courtyard, the roses, lilies & ponds full of lotuses. He spoke of the long balconies which stretched on and on--overlooking 50 odd rooms; the huge bell that rang during lunch and dinner to alert the inhabitants. The grandeur of it all amazes me still. I laughed at the thought of him playing badminton with huge roses- he said, ‘what to do, we’d lose all the shuttles, but we had abundance of roses around. And they were big & heavy enough to play with’. Every time I picture it, I still can’t help but laugh!

...And then there were the stories of the ghosts & ghouls, which I used to eagerly wait for. On cozy winter evenings when I would quickly get inside the warm quilts, he’d tell me these queer tales of village spirits and wandering souls, who couldn’t emancipate from their worldly desires. His memories took me en route to lively melas, where he would sneak off to with his friends, the huge bullock carts he hitch-hiked on and his little boyish adventures. Whenever, he told me these stories, we travelled to these places together, and I could see everything as clearly as he remembered them- we build a connection, an emotion stronger than love and deeper than friendship.

When I think of him now, when I close my eyes to visualize.. I am taken back to some very specific scenes. The time-travel takes me back to a winter morning when I wake up and see him sitting outside, it’s warm & sunny. He has a shaving kit & a small mirror in front of him, still contemplating whether to start or not. Then I quickly time travel to a cool & windy evening, when I am walking along the road with him… just out on an evening stroll, nodding away to neighbors and familiar faces on the road; we stop at this small shop and there is a smile on his face. He says we’ll get the best cutlets here, and I have been waiting to taste them forever.

Today, I carry him with me, in my thoughts, in my beliefs- and in a place in my heart where I keep all my fondest & most precious memories; in a place from where I accumulate all my hope, a place of strength- A Place of Love!

Ink-ed!

Tattoos are as primitive as the origin of society itself. We find examples of body art in every society, in every part of the world. From Tribal to Mayan to Celtic to Modern Abstract, tattoos have : been there and done that!

But, the two questions which every individual with a tattoo has to hear today are: 1)why did you get it? & 2) Did it hurt? For every variation of design you can think of, there is a new variation of these two questions. So, today I am undertaking the mammoth task of answering these two questions on the behalf of all those who got inked (for a reason i hope).

The answer to the second question is as plain and visible as the nose on your face! YES, it hurts, Of Course it hurts, and to make it sound more colorful, I'd say- Hey.. no pain, no gain amigos! ;)

Now for the tricky part. The answer to the first question is wrapped in layers of multi-variants which differ from person to person based on past experience to sheer non-sense. For the benefit of the layman, i'd break it up into three categories of why someone gets a tattoo.

Numero Uno: PRESERVE- To capture a moment. To relive an experience, to make it immortal. I think there is a part of us which craves constance! When we find something that gives us absolute joy or peace of mind, we want to capture it or preserve it. Remember the time when you went on an amazing vacation and had the best time of your life. What did you do to capture it? you clicked pictures maybe! Just like that-- Think of getting a tattoo as clicking a picture. Im serious here! When an idea or a thought or a feeling inspires you or sticks to you, you feel like not only embracing it with all your heart, but to go all out and display it. So, when you see a tattoo which has a meaning attached to it, remember that it symbolizes someone's passion, love or a precious moment!

Numero Dos: FASHION screams! Tattoos have enjoyed a certain status in the world of Fashion for many many years now. It doesn't fade & never goes outta style. If you see a tattoo with a great design, then trust me: it's all about the design! It's about getting that one perfect design that's unique, stylish and one you can wear with pride! and mind you.. it's no matter of ridicule, the person has invested many hours into planning & picking up that one perfect design that feels just right! This category of 'Inked' will get a tattoo for the sake of creativity and work of art!

Numero Tres: Join the Herd- not only is tattoo a fashion symbol, its also something which symbolizes someone who can endure a certain amount of pain to get what they set their heart on. So, getting a tattoo might also mean getting categorized to some. There are some people out there who get a tattoo just for the heck of it or just to look cool to their friends, just to fit in probably. Trying not to sound judgmental here I would say there is NO reason for them to get a tattoo, so they are probably not an audience to your question.

So, there you have it! I have tried my level best to answer the TOP RATED questions, that I am sure everyone has asked to a person with a tattoo. So, guys, next time you see someone with a tattoo.. think before you ask ;D

Office Office

Empty Mind, Full head.
Staring away into cluttered Space..
Doing this, doing that
Machine's work, human heart.
Deadlines, reports.. what's in that?
Where's my mind?
Where's the time?
Re-claim my life? ... I'll think about that!

Only Time!

Time not only heals, it also breaks. Time has no middle path, its always an extremist's choice. Given an option you would not rely on time, its only when you are left with no alternatives that you give up and wave your white flag, and let time take over.

If you can control a situation in the present continuous tense, you would right? you wouldn't depend on a future action to wave its magic wand, and mind you, even the magic wand can't take you back to past perfect!

I have wondered many times, why people give themselves so much time, why do they keep quiet for so long as to create walls between those they love? Why do they let Time come between friendship? I conclude today, that their priorities might have changed by then. They lacked the strength to fight for it and they simply didn't want to lose their precious 'time' over it. Those who defend the concept of 'time-out' by saying that things seems insignificant to fight over after considerable time has passed- I have a question for you- how will you make up for all the time you lost? Wasn't it better to just say it out loud? And can you really go back to where you where after a gap of months, and a gap of grief & hurt? You can't right? Whatever you do, and however insignificant the matter of discontent was, it will come around to haunt you because you didn't fight it out when it all started. Instead you relied on time to heal all!

I am yet to experience a time that heals everything and puts you back where you started. Or maybe i'm just selfish or rigidly conventional when it comes to solving problems. I want to take action right now! If I dont, then that means I am not really rooting for this relationship to move forward. Friendship really can't be forced, either you are friends with someone or you are not! It really is the only relationship that you can choose for yourself. You pick out your friends from a large crowd of people around you, and you strive to grow together, help each other and protect each other. If you are not doing any of this, then you are not really interested in this friendship! Then what are you doing here? Don't tell me you were giving yourself time!!!!

You always have a choice! It may not be the best choice, or the right choice or the most conscientious one... But the fact is you do have a choice! And you chose to keep quiet for months! And that says it all to me... you surrendered to Time, you let it come in and ruin years of building blocks- like waves of an ocean- crashing into sand castles, once built with so much pride. You thought it might heal, and you thought it might spoil-- but you still took that risk! And You made that choice!

Time heals for sure- but only the past! It only breaks the present and changes the future!