Does it bother you?

That bestie becomes beastie with auto-correct on your dumb smartphone. That you gain the most calories from your most favorite dishes. That you are fatter than all your friends. That you are working at a job that requires you to stand in a hole and keep digging it bigger. That your life sucks more than the black hole. That you are not a millionaire. That your whole life is a not a tireless journey in search of truth & enlightenment but a tireless journey seeking more money and more power. That you only talk about changing the world and fall asleep on your couch while watching the documentary that talks about changing the world. That you haven't done enough for your parents. That you don't have a clear answer to "what are you up to?" That your socks don't match and you always the lose good ones. That at some point in your life you have swam in a pool where some other kid has pee'd. That starbucks has chai tea latte which basically means 'tea tea latte' (which sounds retarded). That you can jiggle your arm fat. That you have given up (mostly) on your dreams. That people eat rabbit meat. That I am writing this in a paragraph and not in bullet points.

If the answer to the above is yes, then you are a human being. And not a floating mummy from outer space. Congratulations. Btw, did you know ancient Incans carried the mummies of their dead kings and paraded them around the city in some sort of wicked celebration. That is hardcore creepster!

#EndlessHumanRant #UntilNextTime

Madcon - Beggin - Took me 2 years to find this song :O

I hate it when this happens! Why didn't I hear this one earlier? I blame my friends, who were secretly listening to this one and grooving away while I paddled through filth music. Mebbe not, I had some good ones to hold on to. But this one man, this lifts me up every time I hear it.

Must. Clear. Clutter

What is it that makes us want to do more? Separates us from the easygoers? Why are we constantly searching for something exciting and, the exciting gets boring the moment we experience it? Why do we envy the silliest things? Part of the questions are answered but parts remain foggy. Like the Delhi cold that everyone has been raving about. I remember a time I used to curse every morning and cry myself to sleep (no seriously cry). I hate cold. And now, I miss it for some weird reason. So weird. My brain, the paradox loves playing these unscientific bizarre-ass games. You hate cold, you loathe cold, aww you miss cold, no you hate cold, I miss boots and sweaters. Slap!

See how I got into a serious mode at the beginning of this post and then went on to write about my silly little problems! I could have easily delved deep into the functioning of human psyche and reached some half-baked analysis which might have sounded like me wearing glasses and writing on a table top with a feathery pen with a pensive look on my face. But no I chose to remain petty. The deal is: I want petty now. But then I also want flying ponies. The point is pointless and my brain plays rude games. Who the hell are you standing beside me eating a coconut out of a giant bagel?

I thought I was dreaming. I was dreaming of a giant bagel with coconut inside it and then I saw this "me" looking person eating it. And I know that "me" was hating it. But eating it nonetheless. Do dreams mean shit?

I went for reflexology, thinking I'll get a relaxing time-out pamper me time. But what I got was 20 mins of pure pain. The 65 year old therapist wasn't easy on me at all. Not only did he point out that I will be fatter than a cow in no time, he also kept shouting at me for being being a sissy and not sitting straight (and trying to run away from therapy). Through the session of what can be summed up as "no uncle, please" and "stop it, sit straight" the words that I remember the most - "so young and you can't sleep. So sad." The 70 year old man sitting next to me was doing some ninja leg exercise and laughing at me. He said.. can you bend your legs like this?? My reaction was .. well..

Anyway, coming back to the real outcome of the coconut-bagel eating, brain puzzling, self-discovery story.... In a far away land, as I sat writing this one 'note-to-self' it read - must - clear -clutter. I'll stick it on to my desk. I'll write it out in my heart and say it loud even.

Must. Clear. Clutter

I can't remember this really great line I read somewhere about New Year Resolutions...

So, I am going to skip the resolution part and get to the part that is the meat of this post. No one cares about resolutions anyway! Oh, btw, this was my first new year's eve away from besties, boy and family and I am so proud of myself for not crying/cribbing and making a scene. Also there are these things I read online often and love them, and then forget to note them down, and go back searching for them when I am about to write something : which is plain frustrating....so I have one teeny resolution this year - lines that I love, are gonna go into my online doc on the spot. No Procrastination. Now back to the meat.

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine... or some such line I read somewhere. Never paid heed or believed it till I lived it. Believe me, I am the last person to caste shadows on my own dreams. I'm selfish like that yeah, but sometimes things that you really really want submerge. And you get lured by things which seem so very important at that time, that you forget (or believe that you don't have) your real dreams. 2012 was the year I broke illusions and followed dreams. I'll give myself more credit this time,  I took myself seriously after a long time and spent some time thinking of what's next. Was change over-rated? Life lists and all that, shenanigans of an idle mind? I gave myself a shot. The plan was to win. Finally, to achieve something and show it to myself. 2012 was all about me I guess!  I'm sure some years down the line, I'd look back and say ..  that was a great year!

But, 2013 is here to turn me around in some way or the other, and I can feel it. This one is way beyond new year resolutions and such. The changes I made are finally rippling down and piling up, and it seems I might have a ticking time bomb strapped to my back.

I don't have an appropriate ending to this post. I say, bring it on!