Brunch @ Agra... Dinner @ Khajuraho!

I always wanted to be a fancy travelogue writer like my Mom, like an explorer or something.. writing stuff about different places. So I thought, let me start with my most recent trip to Khajuraho. The memory is still fresh in my mind and my mom advised that the sooner I write them down the better it is!

We started off from Delhi at 5:45 AM when it was pitch dark, I have never traveled so early in the morning when I could actually see the sunrise on the way! Well that is partly because I am the reincarnation of *kumbhakarna* and I can sleep through a entire day with ease and Panache!! Anyway, As we set out on the Delhi- Mathura - Agra highway, all I could think of was drifting off to sleep :P, but the morning sunrise made me change my mind. On both sides I could see the greenery coming to life with the crimson gold rays of the sun, I tried to capture a shot while the car was moving... and I think i did a swell job. We stopped at Agra to get a heavy breakfast, we knew that we couldn't halt on the way in the small towns we barely knew, so decided to have a brunch!! We ate at ITC Mughal (that was fun) and after a very very heavy breakfast and one Red Bull we started off for Khajuraho. It is a 620 KM drive from the capital city and believe me it's a looong drive! After crossing Mathura, Agra, Gwalior, Jhansi and NowGong, we finally reached Khajuraho at around 5 in the evening. Particularly interesting things on the way were the green fields and the mustard fields which looked amazing in the early morning light. And it was obvious that I had to get down and take a snap in a villager like pose in the middle of the sarso ka khet. We also crossed Chambal on the way, but sadly did not see any Dakus. The hills of Chambal looked like they have a cover of green moss on them... but on a closer look it seems that there is some weird shiny shrub all over the hills that sparkle in the sunlight and give it that mossy glow.

Anyhoo! Khajuraho is a very small town, a village so to say. The main village of Khajuraho is like any other village in India.. small, dingy and rural people curiously looking at tourists and smiling at you for no apparent reason. The temples of Khajuraho are constructed all around the village, and almost centering the village the temple directions are set. Khajuraho: the name is derived from the word Khajur/Khajoor or date plant. Being a very dry area, one can see many date tress around this place, the name Khajuraho, was most probably derived from that. Legend has it that when the temples were constructed, the architects built two beautiful Golden Date trees at the main entrance of the temple campus, later these trees were taken down and stolen by the Afghan invaders. Can you imagine? Invaders going back to their land with looted Golden Date trees and telling their Moms 'Dekho Maa main tumhare liye kya laya hun'

Coming back to the erotic Khajuraho sculptures. The Chandela Dynasty that ruled around 9 to 11 century BC, constructed over 85 temples over a period of hundreds of years over here. The first among the rulers of this dyansty, was Chandravardhan, he was the first one to upright the very first temple of Khajuraho. According to local legend and mostly maybe a folklore, Chandravarman was the illegitimate son of a temple priest's daughter, Hemvati and the Moon God. Hemvati was bathing in a beautiful lake on a Moonlit night- (Bathing was an extremely important pass time in medieval India, as noted in Mahabharat and Ramayan as well), when the Moon God, extremely impressed by her beauty was compelled to come down to Earth and romance her. Quite obvious!! But then, when the Sun's rays touched the earth, the Moon God (chandradev) was compelled to return to his heavenly abode. But, Hemvati was petrified by the thought of the night before as she knew she would bear a child. (Yes! she was ovulating!):P The moon God then directed her to go the banks of Karnavati river near the secluded village of Khajuraho where she would give birth to a son who would grow up to be a valiant King. So she did what was told, and she gave birth to ChandraVarman, the founder of the Chadela dynasty. The Chandela dynasty flourished over the years, and to make up for his mother sins, he had to construct over 80 temples in the Khajuraho area. He did an elaborate yagna and laid the foundation of the holy temple grounds of Khaujuraho.

Chandrabarman's decendants, mainly Yashobarman or Laxmanbarman constructed the other most important temples that are still found in that area. Today, only 25 of the 85 temples are in stable consitions, most of the others were taken down in the Mughal era or by the Afghan and Turkish invaders.

The temples are distributed around the small village of Khajuraho beside the Khajuraho river/ or widely known as the Karnavati, and are marked in directions accordingly. The Western band of temples, the Eastern Band of temples and the southern temples. The eastern temples as I saw were less lavish and were most probably made as a prototype to prove to the kings that the workers and carvers were worthy of being entrusted with this job. The first prototype was the Bramha Temple, just after that is the Baman temple which is dedicated to the Baman avtar of Lord Vishnu. The carvings on these temples are those of beautiful apsaras dressing up and these are depicting the different ways of shringar. Make up was extremely important in medieval times as well! The guide explained that the Apsara was putting on Lipstick... I wonder what brand did they use back then!! :D

In most of the temples of Khajuraho that are dedicated to Lord Shiva, we saw the ancient symbols of OM crafted on the ceilings of the temples. Hinduism is emblematized by the symbol "OM" or "AUM" which encompasses the aspect, trinity. The representation of "AUM" connotes Brahma(A), Vishnu (U) and Maheshwara (M). The third of the tridev is Maheshwara or Lord Shiva, most of the temples which have erotic sculptures also have many variations of Shiva Parvathi on the temple walls, attracting and preaching the masses to lead a healthy 'Grihastha' life (a family life). Lord Shiva as a symbol of creation therefore, is worshipped as "Linga".

The temples of the Western Belt are most probably among the ones that are in the best condition today. Here we saw the earliest and most probably among the first temples of Kahjuraho, that is the 'Chausath Yogini' temple, that was build around 9th century (this is thought to be the one that was made after the yagna). The temple is dedicated to Bramhani, Maheshwari and Mahisashurdamini (this last one is mentioned as hingalaja). Then there is the Varaha temple (incarnation of Vishnu). After this we saw the Parvathi temple, Vishwanatha temple and the Laxman temple. The Laxman temple is not that of the Laxman that we know through Ramayan. apparently, Chandela ruler YashoVarman was also known as Raja Laxmanvarman, and he constructed this temple. To immoortalize his name, the temple was named after him. There is also a Nandi Shrine and a ChitraGupta temple and the Devi Jagadambhi temple. The most famous one in this belt is the Kandariya Mahadeva temple : it is the largest and the loftiest and has a huge lofty shiv linga.

In the Southern belt of temples we saw the Dulhadeo Temple and Chatur bhuja temple. The Dulhadeo temple is dedicated to the newly weds and is also a Shiv temple. Locals of the region come here to seek blessing after marriage, and it is believed that praying in this temple gives a couple a happy married life and earns them the blessing of Shiva Parvathi for three years three months when they pray once at the temple. It is a compulsion for the local villagers to come here after marriage, they perform a Puja here once and seek a blessing equivalent to three years three months. The architecture of the temple points towards the romance and eroticism of the first night of marriage, and is depicted graphically on the walls all around the temple.

One of my favorites in the Southern belt is the Chaturbhuja temple. Here the idol is almost 11 feet tall, and is in a west facing direction. A folklore has it that, the Sun God after circling the universe comes to this temple to seek the blessing of the OM. The Idol's feet and legs represent Lord Krishna, it is clearly noted by the posture in which lord Krishna stands with his legs crossed with his Bansuri in hand. We can see ornaments on the idols feet which are similar to Krishna Idols. The chest represents Lord Vishnu, the hands are of Bramha with the "kamandalu" and "mala". The face and the head is that of Lord Shiva, where wee see the Jata and Ganga on the crown of the idol. This is the reason, this idol is called the Chaturbhuja, with the elements of all four Gods. It is here that the Sun God comes to offer his prayers to the almighty Lord. While we waited in the temple, we saw the sunset, and the sun's rays touched the feet of the Idol, and I must confess, I was a little intrigued by it. It made me think of how advanced the architects of the temple are, that they had been able to figure the exact positioning of the Sun's rays, so that it touches the feet of the Idol. At the Back of the temple is a sculpture that denotes the chariot of the Sun God with his seven horses, traveling the world and finally resting at the feet on OM to seek his final blessing.

My trip to Khajuraho ended with a visit to the near by Pandav falls, where inside the Panna tiger reserve a beautiful waterfall is situated amidst caves, where the Pandavas were believed to have rested for a while during their 'Agyatvass'. The exotic Pandav falls are at a distance of 34 kms from Khajuraho. Falling down to the Ken river from great heights, the sight of the falls is quite extraordinary. It is believed that the Pandavas spent some years of their exile here and hence the name was given to the place.

On my way back, I bought some traditional bamboo silk from Khajuraho, this is something which the locals take great pride in, and show off to the tourists with great passion and self appreciation. I think I will gift two of those to my Mom and one I will keep for myself. :D

Wide Awake

Things may never be the same between us.
Lives have parted and raw bricks stare me in the face.
I've been thinking about this for a while,
and no! on my face they don't bring a smile.
Why do you complain I have changed?
Haven't you? Yes! you have and it's been quite a while.
You were never ready and you will never be!
And now I wont even say that it will be alright!
Write me a letter or sing me a song,
A dozen red roses to make up for the things you have done.
Maybe yes! or maybe not!
Even then I won't say that will be alright!
Even then things wont be the way I want from life!

A thousand broken strings of thought.
On them I play on, play on the rhythm...
Of What is left and what I got!
I remember what I have given up,
Not that I regret... maybe backup is always a myth!
Times have changed and so have they!
If I tell them to come back today..
Maybe they will or maybe not!

Take on Ramayan continued.... Lets come to Vanar Sena :D

So, as the story was told in a nutshell in the earlier post (when I imparted hopes of returning with a post on my take on Vanar Sena) now let me get in to the details of the Vanar Sena AKA the Army of Monkeys (taller, stronger, sharper than Men). So, as you must have read in the last post, after Sita was abducted by the Kind and Benevolent (yet revengeful) Ravan... Ram and Laxman go crazy searching for her. (Neha AKA Jhaansi ki Raani says he is Lax-man, you know like Spiderman & Superman.. lol).
Anyway, they wander through the forest searching for her... Sita! Sita tum kahan ho, but all in vain! ( Dude! you should have thought of that before you went on a poaching spree to kill the gold deer aka Marich) So, while they were all over the place looking for her... the guys came across Hanuman. Now, I know what you are thinking, Hanuman as in an intelligent superpowerful monkey right! Well wrong.. this is where my theory kicks in. So all this is happening as a part of a very old school drama, somewhere in TretaYug (Ramayan is one of the oldest texts ever written). So, as per the story, Ram meets Hanuman and Hanuman introduces him to his tribe leader Sugreeb(now Banished by brother Bali). Sugreeb and Ram sign a treaty: you help me kill Ravan, I help you kill Bali. So, the treaty is a win win situation for both. So Ram kills Bali, and then Sugreeb raises his army of Monkeys and Bears, builds a bridge, gets Sita Maiyya... you all know this part!

Now coming back to my theory again, the strong suspicion roots from the fact that writer Valmiki, got lost as a child in the forests and was raised by a hunter. He later turned in to a dacait/bandit and indulged in to plunder and loot. Later under the advise of Maharishi Narada (who narrated this story of Ramayan to him) he became a wise man and penned the great epic sometime between the 4th and the 2nd century BC.
So, now this got me thinking... wandering in the forests he must have encountered people in those centuries who used to live in forests in tribes. Maybe of some African-Indian or Dravidian origin whose bone structure was yet suffering from the marks of the famous Ape to Man theory of evolution (as my frien A points out).. their bodies were fit and strong as they were jungle people and they were more like Tarzan, inhabitants of the Trees and loved to swing on the branches. ***Drum rolls** the catch here is, Ram and Laxman meet this Jungle-Tribe-Tarzan like strong and agile individual swinging from branches. He introduced himself and offered help. The Jungle warrior was actually Van Nar which was later mistakenly (or maybe on purpose) interpreted as Vanar!! So, Hanuman introduced him to his tribes the other Van Nars and together raised an army to save Sita... As simple as that! No Monkey business here!!

Coming back to the poor misunderstood Ravan ( I mean Hanuman maybe confused to be a monkey, but Ravan has even graver problems at hand)... think about it people. If Ravan was so bad then picture this scenario: Hanuman goes to Sita as a messenger of Ram, he is captured and brought before Ravana. Ravana orders to kill him but then he decides not to as that would be breaking the laws of Justice! Hanuman came as a messenger and not as a warrior. (See how cool Ravana was!) Anyway, so under the influence of the enraged court members, to insult Hanuman, he ordered to put a tail on him and set it on fire. (No the tail I believe was originally not there!!) So, these court people thought, he is a Jungle Warrior, let us insult him by treating him like an animal... so pin the tail on the man, and make him a monkey! Sigh!!
However, they misunderstood the power of this Van Nar, and they watched helplessly as with the false pinned tail Van Nar raged havoc and burnt down half of Lanka (this may be a little exaggerated!) and then he quietly returned to Ram and they started preparations of the great fight!

So there it is, I said it! the load is off my chest now... :D
And please people, I hope you understand that I have done quite a bit of research on this ;P

My take on Laxman!!

As I was reading through the summary of Ramayana a very weird thought hit me. And it hit me right in to the head! Now before I got in to that theory, let me accustom you guys on how the story of Ramayana unfolds and what is it that sets the base of Indian Mythology for ages to come. In a nutshell, the story is about a young, handsome and devoted (wife-loving) prince of Ayodhya (who despite the polygamy-like practices of those ages had immense love for his Wife Sita). And in this un-dying love for his woman he crosses saath-samunder to avenge the humiliation of his wife. So as wars all over the world has been fought over some woman or the other... Ramayana was no exception.

Going back to the story... Dasharatha, King of Aydohya, has three wives and four sons. Ram is the eldest and the best guy. His mother is Kaushalya, a mother who has carved the niche for all Hindi Film mothers through the next few thousand years (especially the 70s!!!). Bharata is the son of his second and favorite wife of the King, Queen Kaikeyi. The other two are twins, Lakshman and Shatrughna. Ram gets married to Sita after winning her love in the pompous Swayamvar, and brings her back to Ayodhya. Dashrath decides to hand over the throne to Ram, who is seriously good at this job. However, King's favourite wife is not happy with the arrangement at all! She thought that she is obviously the favourite dame of the family and she might as well use her charms to get her way (very clever, I must say! As my friend Khushboo pointed out.. she is more like Samantha from Sex and the city!). So obviously, the charm worked (women know how to get their way). She wanted her son Bharat to get the throne and send Ram to some Forest place to roam around for a while. Well not a while, actually 14 years. Phew! that's quite a lot. Anyway! So Ram is like really the Good Obedient Son. He goes away to the forest, and Sita and younger bro Laxman follow him. They were having a nice time over there, but then came a twist in the tale. An episode that made me think!!

So enter Surpanakha! But before I forget, in the original story and the photographs Rama and Bharata are blue, perhaps indicating they were dark skinned or originally south Indian deities. What I dont get is why Blue!! I mean even Lord Krishna is drawn in a blue paint. After much thinking, I came to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe... in those days' paintings, they did not use the color black cos if they painted it black they would not be able to demarcate them from looking like Rakhsas who were always painted in black. So to separate the somewhat black/dark ppl
from rakhshas they made the rest of the dark guys Blue. Hmmmm! interesting!!!

Anyway, coming back to Surpanakha! So, much read Wikipedia describes Surpanakha to be of the same breed as Aphrodite of Greece who started the war of Trojan. Surpanakha AKA Indian Aphrodite, is described in some Tamil versions of Ramayana as a beautiful woman with fish-like eyes (also known as Meenakhsi), but in Valmiki's Ramayana, she is a Rakshasa (quite ugly so to say). Anyway, not judging her by her looks, the original story tells us that she was awed by Ram in the jungles and approached him for marriage, Ram was monogamist, he directed her towards bro Laxman who also refused her. She then got angry and tried to insult Sita, Laxman enraged with her guts cut off her nose and Surpanakha ki Naak cut gayi!. She went back to Lanka (Sri Lanka) and complained to her mighty brother (Asura King) Ravana... who was pretty pissed off with the whole thing, and went to the forest and kidnapped Sita in some kind of a private Jet plane, and imprisoned her in Lanka. Ram obviously had to get her back. So, Ram, Lakshman and the monkey army (will write about that theory later) build a bridge from the tip of India to Sri Lanka and went on to get Sita back. A battle followed of course. Ram killed and massacred the Ravan family, Laxman even very slyly kills Ravana's very hot and muscular son (*sob sob*). Meghnad/Indrajeet AKA the hot son was too powerful to be defeated and so Laxman kills him from behind when he is sitting at prayer without his arms (not much of a heroes' fight I must say). So finally Ram frees his lovely wiffey and brings her back to the Kingdom (14 years is over by now). And then Sita has to give an Agnipariksha of her purity (don't even get me started on that) and then they live happily ever after... well not exactly happily! A lot of Luv-Kush drama followed.. :D -- But coming back to the point, the real twist of the story! In Valmiki's Ramayana, the Ravana is the bad guy, and Surpanakha is the Vamp. But what I could make out was the the poor Ravana was a nothing but a highly misunderstood fellow. I read this beautiful poem once by a renowned Bengali Poet, Michael Madhusudan Dutt, called Meghnaad Vadh Kavya, in which my sympathies for Ravana first started budding. Well, what I get from this Valmiki story is that...

The real deal perhaps was that, Surpanakha a lonely widowed female came across Rama, whom she liked. But Ram was unavailable so she went to Laxman. Now Laxman, left his wife behind and was very lonely, so they had an affair. But Surpanakha insisted on Marriage like a true Bharatiya Nari.. Laxman refused!! Shaadi aur tumse.. kabhi nahi!! huh! so Surpanakha suddenly turns Jhaansi ki Raani and decides to tell Sita about her Devar's misadventure. But Laxman got freaked out! and then he disrespected Surpanakha's honor (ahemm! I don't want to use Bad words in the post.. but I am sure all you guys know what 'Naak kat jaana' means in Hindi, especially when referred to a woman!) So with all the disrespect and humiliation she goes back to her brother Ravana. Now what would any Brother do in a situation like this!! Ravana is more powerful than an underworld Don, and he has the resouces (private jet and all)... So he says, you do stuff to my sister (ahemm!!) so I will kidnap your bhabhi! And off he goes... but never in the whole kidnapping process does he ever disrespect sita by cutting off her nose (:P). So, I think it was pretty justified. All Laxman had to do was to admit to his bhaiya bhabi of his extramarital affair, but nooooo!! He had to go and start off a war, and kill poor Ravana! I can't help but feel sad for the whole thing!!

I will take a short break now... will return with more on Ramayana Parde ke Peeche!!

Mission almost-Impossible

Ok! So when will men grow up? I mean seriously when?!! Cos I am so so so freaking tired of this right now, that I am almost losing it! So the thing is, this specific species of men (AKA the know-it-alls, AKA the 'Betaal') who behave in the most matured manner possible in front of you turn out to be mere 5 year olds when it comes to relationships. I mean how hard can it be to figure out that you like someone? Well it may seem simple to us girls, but apparently it’s nothing less than rocket science to these men! I mean it. It is not even funny! These men will be with their favourite girlfriends (we’re just friends!) all the time, and will have comforting feelings in their hearts, feel secured with them, have amazing chemistry with them, also have the most wonderful conversations with them. They will talk to them about anything and everything under the sun and feel more than relaxed at their company. And beat this! Even after getting all this, they will look around for Miss Right! Completely oblivious to the fact that she is standing right next to you. If you really want to meet that perfect girl, I suggest you just look beside you, the one person who is standing next to you through your: boring conversations, hardships, highs and lows… is really THE ONE! You just need to realize that, before it’s too late!

P.S. You guys must be wondering about what the AKA Betaal is all about. Well, these people want us to give them a piggyback throughout their stupid relationship ups and downs for life. So! ya that reminds me of Vikram and Betaal.

Me n Mah Sistas'

Well, What do you do when you are short of *Inspiration* per say.. What Does Carrie Bradshaw Do? Why go to her Girlfriends! what else??!! And that's exactly what I did.
And trust me, I didn't have to look with a microscope to get some Woo Hoo Ideas! It made me wonder how much goes on inside those cute little women brains.. And I thought, my head is messed up! Nah ah!!

Like For example, Aruni "wants to be in the pseudo intellectual mode momentarily": well my take on her momentary pseudo-intellectualism is what I call reaching the last stretch of your young adult life (which is scary beyond all reasons) and then leaving the last strand of rope that you had desperately held on to for some kind of unexplainable comfort. And when you let that rope go, you feel free but at the same time, you kinda miss that rope! If you think I am making no sense.. read Aruni's Blog ;P (it's called destructive-creativity btw)!!! LOL.

This just makes me wonder, just how much of creativity women have locked up inside their pretty heads for so long. I mean... at one end I have a cute girlfriend of mine who looks like she is about to have a tea-party with Alice, and then suddenly you see her blog (destructive-creativity-aka-Aruni) and you go... Whoaaa!!! And on the other Hand is my other cute girlfriend Manasa who is burdened with work and manager issues and you think, poor thing!! But what the hell did I know ----------

--- when asked about a burning issue inside her head! The heavily worked up Manasa (who is btw overloaded with Opportunity Identification Reports) said.. " well I get mad when I see people wearing wrong colors on the wrong days, and and night make up for day and day make up in the night" LOL.

I mean give the poor girl a break!! She is overloaded with work, and then you show up at work with the WRONG colors on the wrong day and that too wearing night make up!! Sheesh!

And again o the other hand, I have a cubie Neha! who is the eternal Jhansi ki Raani today and tomorrow and forever!! LOL. For those of you who didn't know.. my last post was inspired by her *condition a la femme*. Today, she has no burning issues! She is busy dealing with mood swings, PMS, and the whole concept of unfair Biology ( as I can make out from her face). If I ask her one more question, she may just turn back and say: "read my face!!" And I sure don wanna disturb a girl who is already disturbed by the *Uneven Distribution of Organs and features* by the Heavenly forces. As I said, the Gods must be crazy jealous of our sheer awesomeness and hence, the Pain has been bestowed upon us. (And we have to accept it with a pinch of salt, that is, the wonders of Motherhood! ya rite! ;P)

Coming to my Glam Girlfriend AKA new Flatmate Khushboo, she has an absolutely different burning issue today! I mean I am amazed at the variety I am getting today... I have seen nothing like it. So she says: " i need to write something. And write it before the story idea goes out of my mind but i wont get time so well, the story idea will go out of my mind... " and then she goes on bitching about her Manager! The usual Ordeal.. you get it right! :D

So, it seems I have done enough research for today! And I must say.. Girlfriends.. you guys Rock! you gave me food for thought on a Dry Day...! :D

Mood Swings over a Cup of Coffee... :|

What is it that we have done to anger the forces of nature? Is it our sheer awesomeness that drives them towards a mad jealous frenzy or is it the fact that we are born to be Mother Indias' or Jhansi ki Raanis'. Coping with PMS' is not easy my friends. Mood swings and erratic behavior.. eh! we don't really enjoy (For those men out there who still think it's our part-time hobby).

Well, me myself and I, put my mind to work over a cup if steaming Americano (aka the plain black coffee made MY style). Why is it that, we have to go through through PMS, suffer pain & Mindless mood swings and on top of that (as if its not enough) go through bloody Labor Pain. Well, not that I don't understand the joy of Motherhood (well, actually I don't get it.) But it's not fair, if guys can enjoy the fatherhood almost like a cakewalk, why cant women enjoy motherhood with the same ease??!!

Well, Well.. bitter world, and even bitter realities. But! what the hell.. My Bio teacher won't be very happy with my concepts of Biology (neither am I happy with God's concept of Biology!!) But then! who's listening.. apart from my black coffee.. which has become quite cold by now! Sigh.. :|

Of Prada's, Gucci's and Bitchy Diaries!!...

A random thought has popped up in my twisted Mind (As usual) to simplify my seemingly complex life. I am giving it a thought and bits pieces of research proves that this could actually be a solution to all my problems.

- Problem I, being stuck at a hugely underpaying, boring job that will get me nowhere. (Maybe in the next 5 years, but who's gonna wait that long!!??)

- Problem II, Relationship woes, Fights and marriage talks that has burnt me up till the last strand of my hair.

- Problem III, of labels and more Labels, which I look at, drool at, cry for.. but can never afford.

So, I realized to have a perfect life with Gucci & Prada in close proximity, with no tensions as such, no job and loads of money, with butlers and chauffeurs waiting hand and foot on me... I just have to Do One simple thing. Here it goes...

Find a Rich impotent guy, convince him to marry me. Or Go for an arranged marriage with the timid cow variety Rich guy. Then, if he is impotent, problem solved... go for an extramarital affair with my current BF. Plead and cry in front of the judge to give me a divorce to emancipate myself from the sexless (*sob* *sob*) life. In return, get a F***ing huge alimony. Go back to my current BF, and spent the rest of my life as a Rich Label Queen. Ahhhhh! the plan.

I'll get all the labels in the world, will never have to work again, and be married to the person I originally intended to. Although, I see a lot of loopholes in the perfect theory, I would appreciate if you guys don't burst my bubble.

Play along.. will you please!! :D

Blame it on Me!

When you sink into the Groove,
He swims back to the shore.
When you follow him through,
He takes a dive, n says one more to Go!

Some days you think you did your best.
Spoke the least and looked your best,
But you wonder if he saw, and you wonder if he'll ever say!
Forget the nice, bring in the Spice!
Tales of Fight and make up nite after nite.
You wonder if the blame will ever pay.
You wonder if the blame will ever stay.

Life goes on and so do you,
He goes and Yes! without you.
It's true, you know, you always knew
That he'll be happier without you.

--------------------------------------------

The Train Journey! (AKA the Burning train)

The last journey was the most 'disastrous one' in the history of disastrous journeys. Destination Kolkata: We took the Rajdhani with some faint, tender wishes in our young hearts that we will meet some young guys (Hunks to be precise) who will be very generous to us, and would lend us their perfect seats, in place of our middle berths.

Alas! As my friend pointed out "Murphy!" We met some strange old men and one very strange old lady, and one really not so young baby boy wearing diapers. We both believe that he should be OFF diapers now. But strangely enough we suspect that he is still breast-fed.

Now we have been surviving for more than 10 hours without fags and we can not bear the torture any more. The moment we got up in the morning, I realized that I would be having coffee without smokes, and even worse I can't even sing "Lucky boy" anymore. Aruni seems happy at that thought! (Singing or even humming anything to torture Aruni was out of question, as the 'League of Extraordinary Old Men' would have killed us by mere disgusted looks.)

The train btw has a hand brake. And can be driven like a normal steering truck. (We like to innovate in situations of utter pain). We stop and start with peculiar jumps and jolts (and jerks/ jerk: the train is). However, we are used to the bumps by now. But we are not really used to stupid baby talks, which majorly involve around "what comes out of a stupid bird." (Shit I dont care!) The pseudo baby was shouting out his weird questions. Example: "what if a hen lays a duck!!! what will the duck lay" . The Mother was laughing away to glory and was as if blinded by the baby's cuteness (utter crap).

And then the old men start!!!!! One of them btw writes Shakespeare quotes on our hangman paper, literally snatching it out of my hand. Me and poor unsuspecting Aruni were playing Hollywood/Bollywood when the paper was snatched from our hands and was made in to a Shakespeare material. With some quote staring up at us, we were bound to display our fake admiration by the silent head-nod.

And to utter desparation of Aruni the train attendant calls her "Khuku" (equavalent to a small girl child). I am the proud 'khuku's' friend, who is also apparently the bong bitch. I was introduced as 'also' a bong!! huh! the prejudiced world. We discussed that the old lady would have fainted if i would have showed them my tattoo. She discussed with her husband, how I was ALSO a Bengali, and they exchanged strange looks!!!

That's it from this shameful smokeless journey!! See you in the next episode of Kahani Is train ki!!! And now the wannabe baby boy is changing his diapers! Time to fade out!

What it takes!

What does it take to be independent? What does it even mean? Does it mean managing a livelihood for yourself, or does it mean taking decisions on those crossroads which decide the direction of your seemingly dependent life? Questions will always rise out of confusion and will never be satisfied with pecks of poetic answers. We seem to want it all.

Independent poses a problem for me.
I earn, I pay my rent, I cook my food, I have kept a maid.
I send money home and have had my mom's sari paid.
What matters now is what I do with the rest....
DO I stand up for a choice for the cause of dependence,
or do I sit back for the cause of love and regret.
If love is dependence, then dependence is too sweet to be true
But if dependence is falling in love, should I hold back, and repent?
Then there is a gallery of pictures on your wall...
Your first victory that is also mine..
Your first salary in my hand,
Our first Quarrel... seemingly incessant.
I ponder and I cry alone to make it seem as if I surround my universe all by myself.
.... But then..... again! We fall together and defy the laws of independence.

Myth of 13th FLoor

The Crazy 13th Floor (I always get an uneasy feeling in the Office elevator staring at the missing number between 12 and 14. And since I am utterly bored right now, I might as well churn my brain to capture the story of the Missing Floor).

A known fact in all of our unknown Multi-storied buildings is the lack of the unlucky 13. Yes, as you have guessed, there is no 13th floor on these high rises. But what bothers me is that, this is a practice that makes no sense (at least to me). I mean there is obviously a 13th floor. Just renaming the 13th floor as the 14th floor doesn’t really omit the presence of the 13th floor. It just makes the whole scenario spookier than it already is. It kind of freaks me out to see the number 14 in the elevator right after 12. It makes me feel as if it is the Haunted floor or something (Watching too many Horror flicks lately). Maybe someday, when I am all alone in the lift, I may suddenly see a 13th floor button, and the doors automatically open to the 13th floor… (I would have a heart attack for sure.)

Some crazy facts of the 13th floor superstition point to the fact that based on an internal review of records, a very important decision maker of ‘Otis Elevators’ estimates that 85% of the buildings with their (Otis) elevators do not have a named 13th floor.

However, what I like is that the Empire State Building, one of the most famous buildings in the world, has a 13th floor.

Wikipedia says that "new buildings in some parts of China omit the fourth, fourteenth, twenty-fourth, etc. floors, as the word 'four' sounds like "death" in Mandarin." Well, there’s your freaky spooky story now. Taking this a step ahead is Italy: Seventeen is considered unlucky in Italy because rearranging the letters in the Roman numerals for 17 could spell "VIXI" which means "I lived" in Italian. Well… to add to the confusion “Lufthansa airplanes do not have row 13 or 17. You would certainly expect Alitalia airplanes to be missing row 17, but this is not the case. To further confusion, Alitalia's Boeing 777s have row 13 while the rest of their fleet does not.”

Personally, I feel that this is just like shaping up and nurturing your worst fears! I mean what is the purpose of the mindless myth. It can’t be a superstition, it can’t be folklore, and so, it has to be something to do with the way our mind functions. It is just that we have been trying so hard for centuries to ward off all that is evil (don’t even get me started on 666), and trying so hard to emancipate ourselves from the so called allure of the evil, that we have tried every possible act of utter desperation. We have omitted unlucky numbers from our lives; we have erased unlucky symbols from our texts, we have burnt witches (again not going in to the details) through decades. But the end result was futile. Were we ever able to ward of any evil at all???

We were never able to stop any one of Devil’s calls. We were not able to stop buildings and planes from crashing just by renaming a floor. We were not able to stop the mindless political games that have caused the World Wars. We were not able to ward off the cold war, or the Holocaust, or the Great Depression. Why are we trying so hard? When will we get it that it is not our choice to be made! It is not our power to influence. 13 is just a number in your head. I suggest we put it in its real place, Right after 12!

20 something vs 30 something women

Revisiting the *Sex and the City* 20 something women vs the 30 something women.

FRIENDS OR FOE... For all the ardent S&C fans, who remember this episode, allow me to remind you that this is the perspective of a 20 something woman! I believe that if the 30 something story has been put forward, I deserve a right to put across my side of the story as well.

Somehow I realized that 30 something women are actually not foes to us, neither are they friends. They have been immortalized as 'Thirty Flirty and Thriving' which is not really the case most of the times. No harm intended, but I guess by the time you are 30 you are too exasperated with life, and you start caring too much about the 20 something woman. The 20 something woman on the other hand is one of great strength, foolish dreams and fashion misjudgments (well, not all! ;P). They generally don't notice the 30 something women, until, they find their boyfriend cheating on them with a Thirty Flirty!

Is it really a rivalry, I don't know... I don't know if the "vs" suits in this phrase either. Do the 30 something woman really care, or are they actually watching us closely?? Do they judge or Do we judge them? I have no answers now..but I am trying my best to fathom why the lady on the 12h floor office (in her pretty pink suit and handful of chudas/bangles) keep staring at me in the lift: I HATE being judged. Not that I don't judge them (not to sound hypocritical here) but the truth is, I really don't know what these women are looking for. I mean they must have already achieved whatever WE are still looking for..right!?! They must have met the man of their dreams (hence the red&white bangles), and they must have been promoted enough to buy the car they drive to office in. So, I really don't get it.

20s is the time, when office romances blossom, while by the time you are 30, you see through them. We fear the 30s too btw! We live in an endless fear of reaching the 30s. We don't get them too! They are just too damn organized. To be a fearless 30 is a matter of envy to the 20s. If all our dreams are sifted through quickly we can pick up a piece of 'aging gracefully' as our biggest desire and our biggest fear. The truth is Life starts at your 20s. Come to think of it, it is the first time that you actually taste freedom in the true sense of the term. Leave aside the fashion misjudgments, they were bound to happen (it happened when you were 12 yrs too.. with the frilly frocks and the netted stockings your mom bought for you ;P) So leave these extra baggage behind and start enjoying the 20s, cos you never know when you cross over to the 30 something side... And mind it! there is no coming back my friend..!!

A Fishy story!

The Latest edition of my mindless philosophy! There may be some sense in it. I am sure someone out there will relate.

So here it goes... There is a little bit of a *fish* in everyone of us. Think of the countless times you wanted to sleep with your eyes open. As one of my colleagues pointed out "I am not a fish"... this is just to prove my point to her. (LOL) Let me point out the endless fishy activities of a human soul.

Let me say this at the very out start that a lot of research and dedication has gone into this, and I realize that you may feel that I am absolutely jobless, (as I am googling the mating and feeding habits of a fish). But, come to think of it, it is this sheer joblessness that has driven me to this consolidated effort.

NOW, let me quote : " Omnivore fish will eat pretty much anything. They are also voracious eaters and aquarists can sometimes mistake their eating frenzy for hunger. It is a common tendency to overfeed these species, and they do tend to pile on the fat very quickly if overfed. "

Comparing this species of fishes to my fat brother, I don't really blame my mother (the pseudo Aquarist) who feeds him day and night thinking that he is hungry. He is actually not hungry, his pass time is to eat. He eats and he sleeps, he gets up and he eats again. His incentive for studying before the exam is eating (junk food to be precise), his only intention for going out with the family is to go to a family restaurant and eat his heart out. So the voracious Omnivore, is my fishy brother.

CASE I closed. ( I shudder to think, how many more such people are around)


Now quoting again: " Proper feeding practices are a matter of habit. They require some amount of patience, observation and consideration. Understanding your fish and appreciating the differences between the different species help a lot when you feed them."

So these are our diet sisters. When you look up to them in awe of their sheer awesomeness, and be blinded by their sheer control to bypass a chocolate fudge cake with almond on top; you have to realize that 'They require some amount of patience, observation and consideration'. If you want to be like these fishy petite woman in their perfect figure you have to 'appreciating the differences between the different species of fishes' and know in your heart that every morning you WILL end up cribbing about your weight and when you reach work you will end up eating fattening food in each of your gossip breaks. ;P

Now, coming to the third case: "Some aging fish may switch mating habits".. research shows "as the female fishes grow older and larger, they spend more time with asymmetrically striped males than with symmetrical males, when offered a choice."

I am sure I don't need to explain this one. We all will reach a stage we will thrive for that thrill in life. I mean who doesnt need a 'bad boy'. At the end of the day, when my perfectly 'symmetrical male' is watching tv at home with a can of beer, I would rather go out and spend some time with a young 'asymmetrically striped male' and have some fun.

To end this mindless topic from where it started, lets go back to sleeping with the eyes wide open. I am this species. I can sleep off literally any where and every one, I do not need to close my eyes to sleep, I can doze off at the slightest trace of boredom. I am proud to have this fishy trait! And I hope to keep this up. :)

Mind over soul!

Time can not be told of the endless activities that go on in slow motion in your head.

Chronicles of a thoughtful mind:

The day that came today to my door, brought some dark clouds along with it. When I looked out my window, the clouds were there too. I thought to myself, is it me who is upset, or is it the cloud that is upsetting me!!

Maybe it’s the cloud which saw out of the window and saw me. You never know! What goes around comes around I guess! Whenever I try to focus on something, I start thinking out of the box.

For instance! Once I thought that I want to finish my work in the next two hours and go and play pool with myself, instead of doing that I started looking at Google Image search, for ankle tattoos. Guess what? The next week, I had a tattoo on my ankle.

It was my 23rd Birthday, and I was looking at the half drunk bottle of beer lying in front of me… mocking my presence as if I was good for nothing. Can’t even finish a bottle of beer? With a new vigour I emptied the mocking bottle and the three shots that came after it, and the other three after that!!

Next day by noon, the elegant tattoo was staring at me!! I wonder if it was me or the shots that were to be blamed.


So it is not a matter of time I guess. It is a matter of endless twisted activities in my brain that orders me to go about the mindless acts of nuisance! The Chronicles of a thoughtless mind: reminded me to get another tattoo… here we go again! We’ll see you all soon next week… I am busy surfing the net for my next best!

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
***********************************************************

AGENDA: CLEAN HOUSE


someone has really hurt my feelings. I was lying there since morning, waiting for her to return, I had been a nice girl today. I looked around myself, ahh! not so dusty I believe. The bedsheet is clean, the floors look nice. All set!

....And then she comes. There is a visitor today! YAY! I thought, I should get nice compliments today. In the past few months, all the visitors have admired my beauty. So as expected I waited patiently for the two hours that they yapped away to glory! I was beginning to get a bit agitated by the "judging glances" the visitor was throwing at me. Literally, tearing my reputation apart, He hurt my feelings. Let alone a compliment he accused me of being DIRTY! I mean what the hell. She protested as well. I knew she would take my side. She works hard to keep me good looking, and this good for nothing visitor, just came strolling by and passed a verdict! NOT fair.

I won't take, and so won't she! I just know that. Well, the two weeks passed by, I was sad and she was mad. But then came the night of the mad party. She cleaned me up, spotless! Ah, I was looking just Fab!! I was proud of myself and i thanked her for the good job. And then the people started puring in... and in flowed the compliments. I was basking in glory. Ah! the pride and the satisfaction. Just wait till that snob comes back... this time I will show him who's dirty!!! huh!

All that I think I can do is just an image of my past.
What has happened for a reason... another one bites the dust.
Oh! if I feel i could have done better,
Dare I say nothing could have been better.
If this was the truth,
how I wish it was...
But that is never the truth,
at least not here, never here! I am always living in the past!

Trying to fight what I created... Is it the conscience again????

Conscience Calling!

Laid back, on my bed, when I started to pretend to start thinking of something, I realized
that pretensions are part of the "everyday life" of the human conscience. The word conscience
starts to ring a bell. It is true in every aspect of the word: taken in the literal sense,
it means conning science. When there is absolutely no scientific proof to back up the theory
that's playing in your mind, or you are distracted beyond belief by something like a roach
creeping up your thoughts -- which is mostly baseless from the scientific point of view:
" just blame it on the conscience".

It's a charm to see how things progress in your mind. Two days later from now you will wake
up suddenly one morning to find that what you did last night was the most morally disturbing thing ever. Did you drink too much? Did you shout at him? Did he shout back... Ah Wat the hell!!
who cares..?

I guess your conscience does.


Wat is the deal with this conscience stuff anyway. The people you judge to be immoral from
your point of conscience are living a happy healthy life, while you rot and rot inside
thinking that your conscience is giving you a hard time. Blame it on the upbringing then...
My conscience is a cripple without the arm rests of the too decent up bringing. Is it that??
Or is it that, people who are so called devoid of morality are happier and end up successful
in life and miserable in hell (in the after life of course).

Again, why do I even care.... Blame it on the conscience guys! It's making me sweat out too
much... I need a break from all this. I need some blindfolds for the conscience... Anything
you find in Ebay or Walmart.. Just lemme know..!!

This image brings back a lot of memories!

courtesy: Google!

The sun on the other side of the valley was setting so slowly that for a moment I felt that it would take forever to set.
May be the valley just refused to let go of the golden crimson rays in the last hope of clinging on to whatever is unreal
and make-belief. I thought to my self, even we are the same 'aren't we?'. We are always hoping to hold on to what ever we
know will leave us one day. It is a desperate cry to claim what is close to you and whatever comforts you... but doesnt
really belong to you.

The sun was almost gone. The mountain on the other side had fallen asleep by then, 'turn off the lights, im done for the day
..' he said. I looked at him, pleaded him to keep his eyes open for a few minutes. My wish was granted though. The sun's rays
were still merging and he struggled to keep his eyes open. I looked deep into his eyes, I did not mean to intrude though.
The darkness filled my eyes through his... was I wrong to indulge myself to this extent. What should influence me? Should I
open myself to him or should I close my arms around myself?.... Questions gathered around me in the darkness.... answers
.. awaited!

I remembered the how the morning was once again, 'it was bright and chirpy, fresh and new!' Like brand new clothes that bring
a smile to your face. You like its smell, you like the way it feels on your body, the morning smoothly grows on you and
descends into a warm romantic afternoon. You are lazy but you know that the wind is blowing outside and you can still climb on top of
the hill and shout it out loud... 'all this is mine... Im in love...'

But as the sun descends you know it was perfect romance, it had to end. It may seem like it would never come back to you
again, you stare at the hills at the distance and you feel the way you felt when you were near him. When you climbed up
the hill and played in the green grass, got lost around the huge trees... looked up at the blue sky and felt safe.

He was there for you..atleast you thought he was. Now it is too dark to go back. The sun has set, it is not safe to venture
in to the hills, he won't be able to protect you anymore.

.............But you know the there will be morning again.. the sun will shine just for you. The only thing you need to do
is to fall asleep and feel comfortable. The hills will be alive again.

........ " Such is the way of love,
Morning of glory, noon of laughter and romance of evening,
The more you have ... the more you wish,
The more you wish ... the more you think.
What if the sun never sets, what if the love stays alive!
Let there be no end, let there only be the beginning....
Where ever I awake, wherever I lie,
I turn on my bed and let me find you by my side."

String of Thoughts!

The latest addition to my list of obsessions is the urge of being alone constantly!
I hope its not as bad as it seems, but then ... who knows I might just turn out to be one of those old women stuck with "7 cats and 5 caged birds at the bitter age of 70", throwing sticks at little children ... shouting "get off my property"------ I sure don want that to happen!!

But lately I have been the most unsocial creature on Earth, working like a stupid mindless idiot and sleeping like a log.... smoking and drinking tea in the balcony trying to uselessly figure out the stuff in the sky & remembering what I saw in "Google Sky" ( man that thing is crazy!!!). And the worst part is that it doesn't get on my nerves... I don't ****** feel like talking or going out... I am like that lazy 45 year old couch potato.. ( buts its only worse cos im not even close to 40)

A problem is an itch that's stuck to your head
Trying to break free, but it clutches instead
Holds on to your thought
...mind body and motion...
Ignorance is bliss at times, and Knowledge is extortion!

If you know wats wrong? are you too ignorant to point it out?
Or you know enough to keep quiet and suffer the cause?

Choices are smart at times.... It makes you feel you've decided your fate!
Choices are stupid at times.............thats exactly what I hate!